Julio

Part III - To Ride the Curled Cloud Opening scene – Introduces the protagonist, inciting incident, major plot point, action sequence with cliffhanger ending All hail, great master! Grave sir, hail! I come To answer thy best pleasure, be it to fly, To swim, to dive into the fire, to ride On the curled cloud. To thy strong bidding, task Ariel and all his quality. William Shakespeare, The Tempest, Act 1, Scene 2. Chapter 1 Dylan Caddell looked out the cockpit windshield of his C-130 through instinct, even though all he could see were the crazy shapes driving rain made as it pelted against the glass. He’d read somewhere how humans making sense out of random patterns was somehow a primitive survival trait that persisted. If so, he didn’t see the advantage. The patterns he saw or imagined unwittingly brought his mind back to his first hurricane experience as a ten-year-old. He tried to keep the memories at bay, but the patterns wouldn’t be denied. The recollections came flooding back. His childhood home being left in shambles from that thieving wind. The walls cracking under the storm’s pressure, The sickly-sweet air filling the space that would cruelly empty the innocent life he knew. His younger sister clutching at him in fear and calling out for their mom over and over. The door he couldn’t bring himself to open back then and the guilt that stayed with him. He forced himself to push out the troublesome thoughts and focused again on the dials, switches, and readouts before him. The drone of the C-130’s engines was hypnotic. The plane shuddered as it fought through the whipping winds outside and sent vibrations straight through to Dylan’s body as if he were part of the machinery. Sitting next to Dylan in the co-pilot’s seat was Shakey. In his scraggly beard, faded flight suit, and very lived-in baseball cap, he looked more like a beggar on the street than an experienced military pilot. Only the two of them were on the plane. More as a distraction than anything else, he turned to Shakey, “I figure maybe another few minutes of these heavy winds until we break through to the eye of Kathleen.” “Our girl’s winds are now at one hundred and thirty,” Shakey said. “Not for long.” “Well, our first mission went well enough. No reason to think this one won’t,” said Shakey. “Except this time, fighter jets were sent to intercept us. Someone doesn’t want us going in here.” Shakey stroked his scraggly beard and, through a grin, said, “Remind me again why we are risking our necks doing this. Fame and glory, right?” Dylan wondered if perhaps the bravado between them was to mask the fear their actions were more reckless than courageous. He looked at Shakey’s beard. Individual whiskers shot out in haphazard swirls. More patterns. After a pause, Dylan dryly said, “Fame and glory are overrated.” The plane continued to be rocked by the storm’s intense inner winds until all at once, visibility cleared as they punched through the eyewall, and the plane trimmed to steady flight with one last shimmy like a dog shaking rain from its back. In the calm of the storm’s eye, Dylan could see the perilous whirl of clouds beckoning on the far side of the eyewall. He took a deep breath and allowed himself a moment to relax. “Okay. Shakey, I want to hit the southeast quadrant, then get really low to avoid any radar from those angry birds out there, so get ready for a fun ride.” “Those fighter jocks will be itching to get at us.” “Yeah, we could hang around in here for a while and wait them out, but somehow, I don’t think that will work.” “Then let’s do this and go home!” Shakey said with an extra gravelly tone in his voice. Dylan smiled inwardly and thought he was lucky to have his slightly off-center friend on this mission. “Okay, it’s time to let this storm know we mean business. Shakey, get back there and set the release for 7,500 feet.” “Roger that, skipper.” Shakey left the cockpit and headed back to the cargo area where the controls for the canister release were located. Dylan banked right and felt the plane's weight shift its mass accordingly. He focused on the exact spot he wanted to fly into and kept a steady gaze at a swirl of clouds that looked like a large gemstone colored the deep purple of amethyst. He would fly right through that gem and shatter it into slivers. How can they deny this anymore if we do it again? The controls were tight in his hands, and he relaxed his grip slightly. Dylan heard Shakey begin his countdown, and everything slowed down. The timing was perfect. The plane was flying level and true; the canister bay opened with a jerk, and the canister fell effortlessly through the sky. Seconds passed, and Dylan knew the canister would hit the gemstone target center mass before the dutiful far-eyewall winds violently hit his plane. Blistering winds threw him to the port side, and he heard Shakey yelling through the noise. “…no detonation. I read no detonation.” “Oh, come on!” said Dylan, making his calculations for another run. He would gain some distance, turn, and zigzag back. “Prepare another canister, Shakey, and we’ll hit her again.” Dylan cursed some more under his breath when they hit an air pocket and dropped thousands of feet in seconds. He struggled to regain control, but the plane was in a steep dive and beginning to spin. It all happened so quickly that he could scarcely believe the trouble they were in. The cockpit's contents spilled everywhere. Drinks, pens, clipboards, and sundry papers twirled uncontrollably. Shakey was yelling something again, but Dylan was concentrating on gaining control. Dylan managed to stop the spin, but they were still losing altitude fast, and he could now see the ocean water below him. The whitecaps of the waves seemed mighty close. Another wind gust hit and threw him against the strap restraints to the point of pain. His shoulder felt like it was being torn from its socket. Shakey’s yelling was closer now, but he couldn’t make out his words. Then, a wrenching sound, pain, and blackness surrounded him. Dylan involuntarily released the yoke and, with it, any hope of avoiding the whitecaps below. Through a hazy vision, he saw his mother. There she was, trying to steady herself in the howling winds inside their old, shattered house. Her pearl necklace swaying along her feline neck. She looked just as he remembered, down to the same clothing, but the sky above was different. It was purple. Amethyst purple, both strange and familiar, all at once. Dylan felt cold rising around his body. It started at his feet, then went up to his legs. His arms were splayed, useless like a doll in front of him. There was no pain now. He took a deep breath and remembered the pearls.

1. Story Statement One man’s noble obsession pits him against a powerful, corrupt group whose business is threatened by his efforts. 2. Antagonist Austin Hollow runs a group that profits from hurricane relief and reconstruction. He sees Dylan Caddell’s noble efforts to weaken hurricanes as a threat to his lucrative business. Austin sees everything through the lens of money and power. To Austin, life is a struggle between the strong and the weak, and all methods to succeed are fair game. He judges everyone who thinks differently as idealistic fools. Austin’s lowly beginnings drive him to win at all costs. He is not about to let this do-gooder Dylan interfere with his business. Austin will apply every kind of pressure, including violence and corruption, to protect his vile business. 3. Title To Ride the Curled Cloud (a reference to a line from Shakespeare’s The Tempest) The Thieving Wind Eyewall 4. Comparables Books: A.G. Riddle's Quantum Radio - This techno-thriller has suspense and action elements similar to my book. Riddle's books have more hard science included than mine. My book, I believe, has just enough tech explanations/narrative to allow the reader to accept the premise and enjoy the story. Lincoln Child’s Chrysalis – Another high concept, techno-thriller with suspense and action elements. A good “beach read” which is what I am going for with my book. Movies: Twister – This story follows an estranged husband and wife as they combat tornados, putting their lives at risk. Geostorm – This story has weather being manipulated for noble reasons, but things turn dark as a group takes the program over to use it as a weapon. 5. Hook Line One man’s obsession to combat hurricanes, fueled from the pain and guilt of losing his mother in a storm as a child, pits him against a powerful group that profits from hurricane devastation that is determined to stop him from ruining their lucrative but vile business. 6. Inner Conflicts Dylan has long had to deal with the death of his mother in a devastating storm as a ten-year-old child. He thinks he could have done more to help her. He has had to live with that guilt into his adulthood. Will his guilt and obsession for revenge make him take risks too great for him to handle? Dylan is wary of relationships with women he thinks may only be interested in him due to his business success. When he meets Alicia, the investigative reporter covering his story, he must overcome his trepidations or risk losing a woman he has come to have feelings for. 7. Setting The story is set in Miami. Many scenes showcase Miami. From Vizcaya, the elegant Renaissance Estate where Dylan and Alicia (romantic interest) first meet, to chase scenes in South Beach, to the Hurricane Center where Oliver Hawkins (henchman) runs the center and is allied with the villain Austin Hollow. Many of the most dramatic scenes occur during flights on Dylan’s C-130 plane, The Tempest, as they fly into the eye of several storms.

FIRST ASSIGNMENT: write your story statement. Remy Cook, a savant with a unique ability, must overcome life-long irrational fears to accomplish a vital mission where failure risks his life and global conflict. SECOND ASSIGNMENT: in 200 words or less, sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story. Keep in mind their goals, their background, and the ways they react to the world about them. Zhang is officially the Director of the Shen Astronomical Observatory located in Henan Province, China. But he is also a spy chief for Chinese intelligence. In a secret lab underneath the observatory, his team is working on a project to hack and disable U.S. spy satellites. Zhang wants to restore China to the glory of its past. He believes the West’s democracies are weak and too slow to react. China’s authoritarian style of leadership, where a few at the top, including himself, know what’s best for its citizens is best. He sees himself as a patriot. Intimidation, lying, torture, and killing, are all acceptable means to accomplish his goals. THIRD ASSIGNMENT: create a breakout title (list several options, not more than three, and revisit to edit as needed). 1. Harbinger 2. Project Verbatim 3. The Satellite Code FOURTH ASSIGNMENT: - Read this NWOE article on comparables then return here. - Develop two smart comparables for your novel. This is a good opportunity to immerse yourself in your chosen genre. Who compares to you? And why? 1. The Last Protector, by Simon Gervais. A spy thriller 2. The Asset, Saul Herzog. High-concept thriller FIFTH ASSIGNMENT: write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound following the format above. Though you may not have one now, keep in mind this is a great developmental tool. In other words, you best begin focusing on this if you're serious about commercial publication. Remy Cook’s ability to recall anything he reads verbatim seemingly makes him ideal for espionage, but he’s also burdened with an irrational fear of people and crowds that make him anything but the perfect spy. SIXTH ASSIGNMENT: sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction. file:///C:/Users/jpinera/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.jpg Next, likewise sketch a hypothetical scenario for the "secondary conflict" involving the social environment. Will this involve family? Friends? Associates? What is the nature of it? Remy must travel to the teeming city of Beijing, where he will need to overcome his fear of crowds and people to complete a mission vital to U.S. security. He must enter a world of secrets, satellites, and political intrigue to come away with the code or risk a global conflict. Remy’s partner on the mission is Melissa Brakes. She is a young Chinese American CIA agent that has all the social skills Remy lacks. The two of them go undercover as a couple to Beijing University to make contact with a professor known to have ties with the secret Chinese program the CIA wants to penetrate. Remy begins to development feelings for Melissa, but his irrational fears get in the way of the relationship he so desperately desires. FINAL ASSIGNMENT: sketch out your setting in detail. What makes it interesting enough, scene by scene, to allow for uniqueness and cinema in your narrative and story? Please don't simply repeat what you already have which may well be too quiet. You can change it. That's why you're here! Start now. Imagination is your best friend, and be aggressive with it. The story begins with Remy, an Astrophysics graduate student, at the University of Virginia. The rolling hills of Virginia and the placid university campus allow Remy to navigate through his fear of crowds and people. He runs cross-country where his ability to focus helps him be the school’s top runner. When Remy is recruited at the university by a CIA officer for a mission, the scene moves to the CIA offices at Langley. Here Remy’s ability to recall anything he reads is tested. The setting at Langley is more threatening to Remy but he is persuaded to go on the mission. Remy and Melissa, the agent he is paired with, go to the bustling city of Beijing where the chaos and overflowing population of people are unnerving. When Remy is invited to visit the Shen Observatory by his Beijing professor, the sleek and clean observatory where very few people work is a welcome respite for Remy. However, after Remy finds a way to access the secrete satellite code he and Melissa must get out. The escape goes wrong, and Remy must make a run for it. The setting becomes the wild forest areas surrounding the mountain top Observatory. Remy’s cross-country running skills come to the fore as he makes his way across the rough terrain while being chased. The settings toward the latter part of the story become even more unpleasant. An indoctrination camp in China that Remy is sent to after he is captured, a hospital in Beijing where a doctor studies Remy to learn his ability to recall all he reads, until at last, he finds freedom at the U.S. embassy in Beijing and a flight back home to the U.S. where he returns to the familiarity and safety of his university campus.