1: Story Statement
A young lieutenant on the stellar frontier confronts a powerful governor, a planet in revolt, and his own honor.
2: Antagonist Sketch
Edward Cornet, the haughty interstellar governor of the distant district of Aragon, demands respect and expects obedience. Descended from a long line of aristocrats, he craves ever more power, more control, more of everything for himself and his family. He pursues his agenda at the expense of all others; scruples are for the less important.
His greed clashes with the ideals of young Lieutenant Gabriel Halfast, who places duty to country before even his own needs and wants. The presence of this squeaky clean officer in his fiefdom irks Governor Cornet, partially because of the threat such piety presents to his plans, but also because the contrast calls to attention his own depravity. And Gabriel seems to be getting a little too close to Henrietta, the governor’s daughter.
The governor is more than happy to send the whelp on a dangerous mission to a distant world, part of a scheme guaranteed to end well for the Cornet family and badly for Halfast and his crew. Cornet is a man who’s used to winning, and he’ll do what it takes to keep the taste of victory on his tongue.
3: Breakout Title
Into the Breach
The Leander Affair
The Padfoot and the Shrew
4: Comps
My story’s galaxy-spanning intrigue, worldbuilding, and discovery will capture the imagination of readers of John Scalzi’s Interdependency series (The Collapsing Empire) and Arkady Martine’s Teixcalaan series (A Memory Called Empire).
5: Core Wound and Primary Conflict
In the far future, a junior lieutenant striving to rebuild his family name battles insurrection, navigates political intrigue, and uncovers betrayal on the edge of the interstellar frontier.
6: More Levels of Conflict
Inner Conflict: Gabriel Halfast has a chip on his shoulder. A century ago, his family’s land and titles were stripped away when his grandfather lost a crucial naval battle. Now, Halfast feels he must do everything he can to climb the ranks and reclaim the nobility and honor that his family lost.
His every action is geared toward meeting that goal, but he is held back by his dedication to loyalty, fairness, and duty, and by a deep inferiority complex. He doesn’t know how to confront his “betters”-- he shuts down, or acquiesces to their demands. He’ll need to learn to overcome these blocks in order to reach his full potential.
He'll also need to reconcile his rosy idealization of a democratic Star League with the messy reality: a stratified aristocracy that is violent not just to its neighbors, but to its own citizens.
Secondary Conflicts: During his stay at the Governor’s Estate, Halfast must navigate the unfamiliar battlefields of high class balls, dinners, and hunts– and an affair with Henrietta, daughter of Governor Cornet. Learning to overcome his own insecurities is crucial to his escaping with his reputation (and life) intact. The conflict of social strata recurs throughout the story, and is contrasted with Halfast’s time spent among the Enten̈e, who present an entirely different way of culture, civilization, and life.
7: Setting
My setting is expansive, covering huge swathes of an interstellar star league. The primary settings are the warship on which the Gabriel Halfast serves, the lush homeworld of Governor Cornet, and a barren rebellious world harboring many secrets. There are many characters with different origins, motives, and endings.
Background
It is the far future. Humanity conquered light and spread across the milky way, settling ten thousand worlds. They discovered great wonders and in turn created greater wonders. Then came a great cataclysm. The light of every world went out for ten thousand years. Every planet was a hollow cave, cut off from all others. Great knowledge was lost forever.
When humanity again emerged, it was to a changed cosmos. The stars were different, and old ways had fallen away. But as the peoples of the myriad worlds rediscovered one another, they returned to ancient patterns: war, conquest, and stratification.
The Star League
Now, ten thousand years later, the great mob of humanity has coalesced into a few powerful states, including the Hegemonic Star League. Created as a trade compact, the Star League now makes up a quarter of the settled galaxy, with one of the strongest navies ever known.
The peoples of the Star League are vast and diverse. They live on metroworlds with a trillion other citizens, and on rural farmworlds with just a few other families. They have settled every imaginable biome, and terraformed still more to suit their needs.
Thousands of warships patrol the borders and shipping lanes that connect the Star League to their nearest rivals: the Principality, the Confederacy, the Hanse. These powers have spent centuries conquering smaller states and warring against one another, but find themselves in a century of relative peace– but this is a peace doomed to end.
While some borders are established, there are still huge parts of the galaxy unsettled, and each rival power is intent on being the first to stake their claim. The Star League forces growth outward via lotteries that sweep great masses of citizens from the more populated ancient worlds out to the frontiers, long thought to be devoid of human life. However, settlers are finding that sometimes planets are not as empty as they were promised.
A historical parallel is the period following the Napoleonic Wars, when major powers settled into uneasy armistice. In this time, the European powers competed against each not in open war but in other, no-less-deadly struggles such as the Scramble for Africa. That peace couldn’t last, and exploded a century later into World War I.
The Star Frigate Dauntless
So we find ourselves on the Hegemonic star frigate Dauntless, on which Lieutenant Gabriel Halfast serves. The Dauntless is long, bright, and slender, and fast enough to catch just about any pirate or privateer. A few hundred crew are packed into the submarine-like ship. About half of them service the giant laser cannons, which aren’t incredibly advanced and can overheat easily.
The Dauntless is currently serving in the Aragon District, a wide swath of recently settled space on the edge of territory conquered in the last war. This is a starship that can traverse great stretches of space in just a few weeks, and often serves as the only source of news and communication from the outside galaxy to worlds on the outer frontier. With the admiralty weeks away, it is up to warship commanders to make incredible decisions in heated moments.
Most of the action we see on the Dauntless takes place on the command deck, a metallic cavern with various retro-looking stations surrounding a central digital map table. Captain Van Cortland or one of her officers can use the touchscreen surface to survey nearby stars, or track enemy ships. A viewscreen covers the entire forward wall, which can zoom in on any interesting planets or freighters that happen to be passing by.
Only the captain and the first officer have their own quarters typically, but Halfast has one to himself as well after his roommate is shot in the head during a boarding action. Cabins tend to be austere, but Captain Van Cortland has a real wooden desk in hers. There’s also a wardroom where the officers congregate for dinners and tense discussions. We’ll meet many of the officers, some of whom may help Halfast and some of whom will surely hinder him.
The Dauntless tracks down a privateer and Halfast is reluctantly pressed into commanding a furious fight to board the interloper. Personal laser guns must be reloaded after every shot, and marine dragoons use a special laser pike to push through resistance. The fighting is messy and traumatizing.
Henrietta, the Garden World
With captured prize in tow, the Dauntless reports to the capital of the Aragon District, the beautiful garden world of Henrietta. The planet is named for Governor Cornet’s only daughter (or is it the other way around?), and is undergoing terraforming from wild wastes to manicured plantations.
Captain Van Cortland, Commander Beach, and Lieutenant Halfast visit the grand estate of the Marquis de Cornet, which covers the entire northern hemisphere of the planet. It’s the first time they’ve been on a planet in six months, and they exult in the fresh, non-processed air. They take a hovercar from the grass-covered spaceport through rolling hills filled with wild buffalo, gazelles, and vicuna.
The governor's chateau is extravagant but lacking in elegance. The ceilings are covered in moving paintings, the banquet room has service for hundreds, and a garden maze dwarfs the rear lawn. Many terse discussions are held in the governor’s echoing office, where visitors are separated from Cornet by a massive desk made from a single slab of obsidian. Coded, passive aggressive conversations unfold at the dinner table. And liaisons occur under the cover of pouring rain in the marble temple at the center of the garden maze.
Halfast, Van Cortland, and Beach are invited to a stag hunt, and they gallop through the forests on horseback alongside the governor’s retinue. Captain Van Cortland is injured as part of a cruel hunting “accident”, and taken to the only doctor on the planet, in Cornet City. Here, Halfast meets some of the lower-class workers while he waits for news on his captain’s recovery. In the biergarten on the town square, he learns that the governor’s rule is not fun and games for most of his subjects.
Leander, the Dust World
After receiving their orders from Governor Cornet, the crew of the Dauntless head around a great stellar nursery called the Remenham Bight and then into the Luconic Frontier, accompanied by an impish government agent masquerading as a harmless merchant. Their mission is to put down an insurrection on the barely inhabited world of Leander. A far cry from the lush foliage of Henrietta, Leander is a dry and desolate dustball. The air is stale and stuffy, the ground is rocky, and no plants grow.
They land in the town of Abydos, the only remaining settlement after violence caused the citizenry to retreat inward. The Leanderites live in relative safety in the shadow of the planetary baron’s tower, but are also subject to the baron’s whims. Every building in the township is low corrugated tin except for the tower, which stretches twenty floors high. Halfast is taken aback by the gaudy opulence of the baron’s residence even as the other settlers live in squalor.
Later, Halfast helps to turn an old rusty warehouse into barracks for ground troops. The warehouse is covered in garbage and old abandoned machinery. He is up late making plans one night when he sees strange lights in the distance, moving away from the town. He follows the lights, first through the town’s alarmingly large cemetery, and then into a narrow and ever deepening canyon.
He’s caught by what he discovers are the planet’s historical inhabitants, the Enten̈e. Their ancestors were traders, marooned on Leander thousands of years ago. They call the world Xane, and have transformed a vast network of caves and canyons into their realm. Halfast is taken on a long journey across the wastes, and then into a hidden entrance in a wadi that leads to one of the great underground cities of the Enten̈e.
The city, called Rosata, is in a cavern that has been carved into a perfect cube. Every door is a different shade of color, but otherwise the buildings are sensible concrete. A great waterfall spills from the ceiling in the exact center of the city, providing all the water the inhabitants could ever need. Ominous, undulating singing fills the air.
Halfast is taken to the leader of the city, an old woman with cataracts. She tells his captors that they must take him to a Great Moot to determine whether the Enten̈e will rid themselves of the Hegemonic outlanders once and for all. This means another long journey, much of it through long underground passageways. Later, when they’re sure they can avoid the sensors of spaceships above, they travel on the open wastes on strange humped creatures called padfoots that Halfast likens to “awkward horses.”
They reach the Moot, inside of a long and treacherous canyon whose edges meet at the top to almost form a roof, keeping out the eyes of outsiders. Thousands of Enten̈e meet here, with great caravansary tents set up, along with pens of padfoots. Halfast must answer for his government’s colonial transgressions, and in doing so confront them himself. A decision is made, and a great mass of people set out in the direction of Abydos.
Into the Breach - Chapter 1 Genre: Sci-Fi Space Opera Lieutenant Gabriel Halfast just happened to notice a single pixel glowing on the scopes. He had been leaning over the shoulder of the radar operator, helping her to retune one of the antennae. At first he thought the pixel had gone bad and flicked his finger against the screen. “What is that?” he asked. The pixel hadn’t disappeared despite his insistent taps. Radio Operator Olliver swatted Halfast’s finger away from her screen. “It can’t be a ship,” she said. “There’s no signal, no emissions-- wait--” She twisted some knobs to refocus the sensing equipment. One pixel became many as the instruments caught hold of something speeding through deep void. Reflective paint on the spaceship’s hull made it invisible to the naked eye, and the small vessel performed frequent and erratic maneuvers designed to avoid detection. Only the most sophisticated instruments had any chance of finding such a tiny black speck in the bottomless background radiation of the universe. The frigate Dauntless had such instruments, but even they had almost missed the spectral interloper. “It is a ship,” Halfast whispered, his mouth dry all of a sudden. He straightened, breathed in, and then called to the rest of the command deck, “Contact! Contact!” Captain Van Cortland did not turn. Nor did she raise her head. Her broad back remained hunched over the map table, studying a paper dossier. For a tiny moment, Halfast thought she hadn’t heard his shout. “Report?” the captain said at last, her tone steady as if asking about a passing meteor shower. “They’re not broadcasting any identification transponders, and no match for any Hegemonic vessels, military or civilian,” Olliver said. “The ship has… strange properties. Not like anything I've come across. I think it’s been rigged for radar evasion.” “Thank you, Mister Olliver,” the captain said. She closed the dossier and stood from her metal stool, towering over the other officers that now clustered around the metal table. “Any ship outfitted in such a manner is unlikely to be operating legitimately,” said Commander Beach. He stood next to the captain with a deep scowl on his face. Captain Van Cortland didn’t acknowledge her first officer. She looked instead to her chief navigator. “Halfast, run visual reference.” Halfast was already on the other side of the map table doing just that. He punched in a series of commands and a stream of spaceship images began to flash across the table. After a minute, the screen blinked green and paused on a mirror image of the shadowy ship. “This ship matches the one reported raiding freighters along the Middle Kills,” Halfast said. “A privateer,” Commander Beach said with disdain. He activated another section of the map table to flip through a list of piracy warnings. “Find anything?” the captain asked. “There’s a catch-or-kill order on the books,” Commander Beach said. His eyes grew wide and he locked eyes with Van Cortland. “Signed by the Consular Knight himself. The order seems to be heavily weighted towards kill.” “Halfast, get their heading and plot an interception course,” Captain Van Cortland said. Halfast dashed over to his navigator’s console and spent a hurried minute calculating the privateer’s position. He had to push nervous excitement from his mind and instead study the complicated formulas on the screen in front of him, even though he could feel the eyes of the entire command deck drilling into the back of his head. He tightened his shoulders and concentrated on translating the formulas into a series of vectors. Finally, he scratched a solution onto a slip of paper and turned with a report for the captain. “They’re headed out into the far reaches, ma’am. Likely the East Downs and then on to the Hanse,” Halfast said. He realized his voice was pitching higher with alarm, and he swallowed to try and reset his vocal chords. “Turn us about and put us on fast pursuit,” Captain Van Cortland said. She didn’t seem to notice Halfast’s voice cracking. The captain’s demeanor remained casual. She focused her gaze ahead as her warship jumped forward. The bright field of stars outside whipped by as the frigate moved to bring the invisible ship to bear. A low rumble began in the belly of the Dauntless as her engines fired, traveling up through the decks and matching the anxious rumble in Halfast’s own stomach. He leaned his shoulder on the support beam next to his chair, steadying himself as the ship tilted through its maneuver. "There's another order connected to this privateer," Commander Beach told Captain Van Cortland. He pointed to the relevant document now highlighted on the map table. "We're to report any contact directly to the Governor of Aragon." Van Cortland's face darkened. "When did that order come in?" "Last week, when we connected to the link buoy at Falcras," Beach said. "So we'll have an audience with the Marquis Cornet," Van Cortland said. "Whether we board them or blow them out of the stars." "Immediately following contact, we must report to Governor Cornet on Henrietta." Beach read. "In person." "I don't need you to read orders to me, Beach," Captain Van Cortland said, her voice booming loud enough to fill the command deck. She stared at her first officer, then spat an order at him. “Get to the gunnery deck. Prepare for the pursuit barrage." The first officer responded with a tight nod. He seemed to understand that he'd overstepped a boundary. He disappeared down the ladderway without another word. Van Cortland turned her attention to the rest of the crew. "Farrell, call down to Barth and tell her we want overburn on the engines. And Master Sergeant Hillchurch? Get your dragoons ready.” Halfast felt the command deck settle into a familiar loud lull of orderly chaos as the crew worked to intercept the privateer. He relocated from his navigator’s console back to the map table so that he could monitor the movement of the privateer on the large glowing surface. Across from him, Captain Van Cortland carried a foul air following her confrontation with Beach. She kept her dark gaze on the table display, only glancing up intermittently to look out the viewport of stars stretching across the front of the deck. Navigators, radio operators, and gunnery officers surrounded them, each hunched over their station, working feverishly to intercept the enemy spaceship. A flash of red text appeared on the screen at Halfast’s station. He locked eyes with Lieutenant Farrell on the other side of the map table. Farrell had sent the text; now he shrugged. He was unwilling to put his own skin on the line if Van Cortland reacted poorly to bad news. Halfast had no one else to pawn the bad news off to, so he turned to the captain. “Engineer Barth warns overburn not advised for more than one cycle,” Halfast said. He performed another set of calculations in his head. “We’re still at least four cycles from firing range.” Van Cortland tapped her thick ring finger loudly against the edge of the map table, annoyed. She shook her head. “We don’t slow down until we catch this bastard.” “Aye sir,” Lieutenant Farrell said, sharing another glance with Halfast before calling back down to Barth in the engine room. Radio Operator Olliver by now had generated a more detailed schematic of their opponent. It was a monohull, but looked as if a dozen triangular cones had been overlaid in a concentric circle. The fat ends of the cones met at the back of the ship, forming the engines from which blasted a blazing hot white trail. The points created a daunting sharp array at the fore. “It’s a fast ship,” Halfast told the captain as they looked at the image of the privateer appearing on the table. “Far smaller than us, with little to no armor. Eight guns, four on each side. No match-- if we can catch up.” “We’ll see how they like thirty guns trained on them,” the captain said, raising her deep voice for the entire deck to hear. “I want this marauder taken intact. We’ll tow it to Henrietta!” “Engineering reports the reactor is now running a full third over capacity,” Lieutenant Farrell said. “We’re far and away past any safety limits.” The low rumble of the engines now became a heavy vibration and every surface shuddered. Halfast’s stylus rattled from its perch on the map table, rolling across the bright digital display before falling to the floor and disappearing into a far corner. The hull around them began to echo with cracks and pops as the Dauntless stressed to handle the massive power burst exploding from the ship’s engines. “Firing range in thirty seconds,” the radio operator called out. “Thank you, Mister Olliver,” Van Cortland said, then switched on the intercom in front of her. “Commander Beach, all cannons forward and on target.” “Ten seconds,” Halfast said, eyeing the ship’s clock as he counted down to one. The privateer, still invisible to the naked eye, nonetheless drew the attention of everyone on the Dauntless’s command deck. Their gazes focused forward in its general direction, preparing for the breathless, terrible moment of engagement. Halfast barely made it halfway through the countdown when Van Cortland shouted, “Fire!” Bursts of bright hot light erupted from the Dauntless’s cannons, blinding Halfast. When the streams of pure energy faded, he could see that most failed to find their target. However, a handful of diminished shots still connected with the privateer, and stripes of blazing molten hull now made the enemy vessel visible not just on the map display but outside the forward viewport. “Ready next volley,” Van Cortland said, stroking her wide jutting chin. She watched as the schematic of the privateer on the map table updated with red and yellow damage marks. “Target engines only. Halfast, reduce speed so we don’t overshoot them.” “Matching target speed,” Halfast confirmed as a burst of retaliatory fire emanated from the privateer’s starboard guns. The Dauntless jerked in response, and his station flickered with warnings and readouts. “No major damage report from their return fire.” “Next volley ready,” Commander Beach reported. His voice sounded tiny and far away on the intercom. “Fire, man, fire!” Van Cortland shouted. The deck bucked back and then forward as the Dauntless spewed forth another ribbon of cannon fire, again filling the viewport with blinding light for a long second. When the light faded, Halfast could see flares of debris cleaving away from the privateer as the shots hit. The enemy ship listed now, leaning sickly away from the galactic plane, its thrusters winking on and off as they struggled to pull power from a failing reactor. “They’re disabled!” Halfast called as he read printouts from over Olliver’s shoulder. “Bring us up next to them, and prepare to board,” Van Cortland said. She picked up the ship's intercom and roared into it, her deep voice echoing across the ship. “Prepare to board! Prepare to board! Lieutenant Farrell, gather all midshipmen and form up with the dragoons. Commander Beach, you have the Dauntless!” The captain dropped the intercom and turned to Halfast. “Lieutenant, arm yourself and follow me.”