As background, here’s the draft pitch for Oceans for a Thief (by Ron Reman):
Twenty-five years ago, an uneducated black woman died without fanfare in Brooklyn. She’d worked herself to death, struggling to get her sons access to quality schools. Her eldest son Matt, sixteen at the time, promised that he and his half-brother would succeed – and succeed they did. Matt’s a partner in a White-Shoe investment banking firm in Manhattan and his half-brother is Chief Executive of an international shipping company.
Matt made another promise to his mom. He agreed to avoid his father, Frank Cavalcanti, at the time a soldier in a New York crime family but now the family’s underboss and leader of its global drug smuggling operation. Matt kept this promise – a good thing since his father once had another son killed – but when Matt’s blackmailed by an alluring Brazilian woman with a hidden agenda, her demands force him to choose between seeking his father’s help or losing his job and family.
In search for an alternative, Matt travels overseas, where he meets Tamara, leader of a Somali pirate group. Though she commits criminal acts, she earmarks her wealth for a good cause. She orchestrates a scheme to address Matt’s problems while helping her cause, but its meticulous planning is based on incomplete information. The plan threatens Cavalcanti’s crime family, pits Matt against his half-brother and puts Matt’s life and that of his wife and daughter at risk. A character in a nineteenth century novel influences Matt as he tries to protect his family.
First assignment: Story statement – “A man must stop the distribution of photos which could destroy his life.”
Second assignment: Sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story –
“Raised in the slums of Rio de Janeiro, forced into high-end prostitution in her early teens, Ana sees her customers, American businessmen, as enemies of Brazilian women. Her beauty is matched by her intelligence, and as she matures, she’s no longer satisfied selling her body for a few hundred dollars an hour. She combines her sexuality with her brainpower, blackmailing successful American businessmen and coaxing them to pay her millions. Her hostility toward these men is offset by her compassion for women – disadvantaged Brazilian women in particular – the latter the beneficiaries of her ill-begotten funds.”
Third assignment: Breakout title –
Oceans for a Thief
Drops of the Ocean
Victims in Disguise
Fourth assignment: Develop two comparables for your novel – [In process]
I’m finding this to be a challenge. I’d say my style is similar to Nelson DeMille – no-nonsense with plenty of action. I’ve also been told the complexity of the story is similar to John Sanford’s writing.
Fifth assignment: Hook line –
“Blackmailed by a Brazilian seductress, an investment banker must choose between losing his wife and family or seeking help from his estranged father – a mob underboss.”
Sixth assignment: Conditions for the inner conflict and hypothetical secondary conflict –
Matt needs to keep photos (of him and Ana having sex) from being made public. He’s convinced he’ll lose his wife, daughter and high-profile job. Unfortunately, the only way out may be his seeking help from his estranged father, a mob underboss. Matt promised his deceased mom that he’d avoid his dad. It’s a promise he’s kept and intends to keep. A secondary conflict is Matt’s desire to avoid hurting his half-brother – to keep the photos secret, he’ll need to take action against his half-brother’s company. Another conflict is Matt’s attraction to Ana, although he loves his wife.
Seventh assignment: Sketch out the setting in detail –
The story opens in Manhattan – the main characters live and work in and around New York City. The story utilizes the city’s resources, including subway stations and grand churches. It also includes scenes in Belgium, France, Somalia, the United Arab Emirates and Brazil, as well as a ship hijacking scene within the Arabian Sea.
As background, here’s the draft pitch for Oceans for a Thief (by Ron Reman): Twenty-five years ago, an uneducated black woman died without fanfare in Brooklyn. She’d worked herself to death, struggling to get her sons access to quality schools. Her eldest son Matt, sixteen at the time, promised that he and his half-brother would succeed – and succeed they did. Matt’s a partner in a White-Shoe investment banking firm in Manhattan and his half-brother is Chief Executive of an international shipping company. Matt made another promise to his mom. He agreed to avoid his father, Frank Cavalcanti, at the time a soldier in a New York crime family but now the family’s underboss and leader of its global drug smuggling operation. Matt kept this promise – a good thing since his father once had another son killed – but when Matt’s blackmailed by an alluring Brazilian woman with a hidden agenda, her demands force him to choose between seeking his father’s help or losing his job and family. In search for an alternative, Matt travels overseas, where he meets Tamara, leader of a Somali pirate group. Though she commits criminal acts, she earmarks her wealth for a good cause. She orchestrates a scheme to address Matt’s problems while helping her cause, but its meticulous planning is based on incomplete information. The plan threatens Cavalcanti’s crime family, pits Matt against his half-brother and puts Matt’s life and that of his wife and daughter at risk. A character in a nineteenth century novel influences Matt as he tries to protect his family. First assignment: Story statement – “A man must stop the distribution of photos which could destroy his life.” Second assignment: Sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story – “Raised in the slums of Rio de Janeiro, forced into high-end prostitution in her early teens, Ana sees her customers, American businessmen, as enemies of Brazilian women. Her beauty is matched by her intelligence, and as she matures, she’s no longer satisfied selling her body for a few hundred dollars an hour. She combines her sexuality with her brainpower, blackmailing successful American businessmen and coaxing them to pay her millions. Her hostility toward these men is offset by her compassion for women – disadvantaged Brazilian women in particular – the latter the beneficiaries of her ill-begotten funds.” Third assignment: Breakout title – Oceans for a Thief Drops of the Ocean Victims in Disguise Fourth assignment: Develop two comparables for your novel – [In process] I’m finding this to be a challenge. I’d say my style is similar to Nelson DeMille – no-nonsense with plenty of action. I’ve also been told the complexity of the story is similar to John Sanford’s writing. Fifth assignment: Hook line – “Blackmailed by a Brazilian seductress, an investment banker must choose between losing his wife and family or seeking help from his estranged father – a mob underboss.” Sixth assignment: Conditions for the inner conflict and hypothetical secondary conflict – Matt needs to keep photos (of him and Ana having sex) from being made public. He’s convinced he’ll lose his wife, daughter and high-profile job. Unfortunately, the only way out may be his seeking help from his estranged father, a mob underboss. Matt promised his deceased mom that he’d avoid his dad. It’s a promise he’s kept and intends to keep. A secondary conflict is Matt’s desire to avoid hurting his half-brother – to keep the photos secret, he’ll need to take action against his half-brother’s company. Another conflict is Matt’s attraction to Ana, although he loves his wife. Seventh assignment: Sketch out the setting in detail – The story opens in Manhattan – the main characters live and work in and around New York City. The story utilizes the city’s resources, including subway stations and grand churches. It also includes scenes in Belgium, France, Somalia, the United Arab Emirates and Brazil, as well as a ship hijacking scene within the Arabian Sea.