Joy Oden

First Scene. Introduces protagonist, antagonist, setting and major conflict. Chapter One Dirk Kleparoth threw the Chevy pick-up into park, making Mara’s head lurch on her neck. He jerked his chin toward the house with the pink door across the street. “7485. That’s it.” Mara nibbled on a fingernail and stared at the new three-bedroom bungalow, identical to all its neighbors, save the pink trim. “Do you need me to wait, or…?” Dirk ran a thick palm over the roof of his brush cut. “I should probably get back, eh.” “Oh no. You go home to your boys. I imagine we’ll have tea.” But Mara stayed in the passenger seat, “I’ll take the bus home.” “Well, did you want to go meet her? Or should we just go to A&W, get a burger?” He placed his hand on her thigh and squeezed. “I don’t really get why you’re doing this, Mara.” Marasol Adkins turned to look into his green eyes and smile. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for twenty-four years.” “She probably won’t even know you. You haven’t seen her since she was a baby, right?” “Yes. But I have a feeling. I was a mother to her after our mom died.” “Well. Don’t get your hopes up, eh.” He reached across her, pushed the door open, then handed her an umbrella. “Take this. Storm’s coming.” “It’ll have passed by the time I’m ready to leave. See you at work tomorrow.” Mara got out, then stood behind a lamp post, which failed to hide her big body. She just needed a moment to collect herself, take in the lay of the land. The neighborhood’s tidy lawns sloped to a boulevard where young ash and maple trees were tethered to their support against the coming winds and the brutal winter they’d carry. Mara shivered and gripped the strap of her fringed bag, telling herself to just go on over and give that pink door a solid rap. Still she waited, one of her braids between her lips. The family appeared well off; a new 1965 Ford Country Squire station wagon sat in their driveway. On their lawn, two robins twittered, and Mara could smell the lilac blooms that framed the pink door from where she stood. A clap of thunder made her jump and get moving. She glanced at the wide prairie sky, bright blue, save the blot of angry clouds to the west, and hurried over. She hated storms. “Yes?” The woman who opened the door had a hand on her very pregnant belly and a toddler attached to her leg. Looking into eyes she hadn’t seen in over two decades, Mara forgot all her words for a moment. When she finally remembered some, they fell out in a blurt: “I think you’re my sister.” The woman gasped and took a step back. “You. You’re the one who followed us home from Woodward’s the other day.” She had the same dark hair and eyes, same long nose and high cheekbones as Mara, but was shorter, rounder. She pulled her daughter to her. “Nadine, stand behind me. What do you want?” Her voice carried panic. “I didn’t think you’d seen me. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Mara held a supplicating palm out. “You’re Dorothy, right? I’m Marasol Adkins, Mara. Er, Marasol Griffith. I’m pretty sure you’re my sister. You were taken when you were just a baby…” The sun seared like a branding iron. Perspiration ran under her arms despite the extra layer of Arrid Extra Dry she’d applied. Dorothy narrowed her eyes at Mara. The door might be open, but her sister still stood behind a wall. In a rush, Mara explained how she’d seen Dorothy with her daughter looking at gloves on $1.49 Day at Woodward’s and she knew her with the sureness of gravity. She was a replica of their mother. It had been such a shock. Edmonton was not that big, but she’d never run into her before. So, of course, she followed them home. “I didn’t want to lose you again,” she lowered her voice: “I’ve been missing you for twenty-four years. Since I was twelve.” “Why didn’t you just come on over, say hello?” “Well, I was so surprised, and I wanted to, you know, prepare.” Mara lifted her shoulders in a small shrug and looked down at her home-made outfit which she’d selected with care. The red polka dots on her mini skirt paired with the forest green blouse and white peter-pan collar now seemed not so much reassuring, but outlandish. She’d tied teal ropes around the ends of her braids, and she held them for a moment, then coughed on nothing. When she looked up to see Dorothy scowling at a polka dot. “Mommy. Who is this lady?” Nadine pulled at her mother’s skirt. “She’s my sister.” “Yes!” Mara smiled and relaxed her arms, ready for an embrace. “And your mother, kind of, after our mother died. Since I was so much older.” “Nadine, go play.” The woman’s gaze hardened like cement. “It’s true. They adopted me out. What kind of family gives someone away?” “What’s adopted, Mommy.” Nadine had not gone to play. “It was my fault, somehow. I don’t quite remember all the details …” An unsettling hum filled Mara’s ears. “Well, whatever the reason. Apparently, I wasn’t worth keeping—” She held her hand up when Mara tried to speak. “Anyway, thanks for coming by.” She patted her tummy, “As you can see, I have my hands full here, and I’m not feeling well these days. You must know what it’s like. Don’t you have a family?” “No, well. I did have a son, but….he’s, he’s gone.” “Oh, I’m sorry about that. That is awful. But a husband?” “I was married.” “Oh no, you’re a widow?” “Um, no actually, we divorced.” Mara watched as Dorothy’s expression made the usual migration from sympathetic to critical. “Oh. I see. You’re a divorcee,” she sniffed. “Yes, but, years ago,” Mara hurried to change the subject, right the wrong course this conversation now traveled on. “I thought we could be sisters again, you know? Go for coffee, shopping…” “A woman’s job is to keep the family together. At least, that’s what our minister says.” “But it wasn’t my—” “Besides. You can’t scare a person half to death, then just come knocking on her door. Barging into someone’s life.” “But, we have the same parents. We’re family.” “Well, I’m sure what you’re saying is true – we do look alike, but your family clearly didn’t want me. I have my own parents, or at least did, and I’m making my own family, as you can see. So.” Dorothy stepped back into her house and started to close the door. Mara looked around for an excuse to linger. “Wait, are those boxes? Are you moving?” From somewhere inside the house, a telephone rang. “Telephone,” yelled Nadine. “Yes, I know,” said her mother. “I really need to get that. Thanks for coming —” “But what about —” Mara words bumped up against the closing pink door. She stood for a moment and numbly raised her hand at Nadine when the little girl waved at her through the front room window. Mara stumbled on a crack in the sidewalk, haunted by the image of Dorothy shielding her daughter from her. Dirk had called it. She doesn’t want to get to know me. And why should she? It looks like she’s been doing fine without you, has her life in order, look at those lilacs, for god’s sake. Not like you. You’re no good at family. All you’ve ever done is lose them or send them away – your husband, your sister and brother, your son. Maybe deep down, she even remembers it was all your fault. The rumble of thunder was closer and sent cold down Mara’s spine. The drone of running water filled her ears again, drowning out the birdsong. Her breath quickened and her mouth dried up. Mara slapped her leg, hoping the pain would distract her from the coming storm. She started to run, wishing she’d taken Dirk’s umbrella. By the time the bus arrived, she was drenched, her fringed leather bag ruined, her braids dripping, her thick mascara halfway down her face. She deposited her twenty cents and left large wet footprints all the way to her seat. As she stared glumly out the window, she thought of the inside of Dorothy’s house, and the boxes that were piled up. Were they about to move away and out of Mara’s life again? Chapter One.docx

Assignment 1. Story Statement Marasol Adkins has just discovered her baby sister, Dorothy, after 24 years. Now, after surviving a tornado, attending to two orphan boys and their dog, and wrestling with her own self-doubt, she must get Dorothy to love her. Assignment 2. Antagonist or Antagonistic Force The primary antagonistic force is the misogynistic culture of Edmonton, Alberta, in 1966, which values men and their ideas, sees women only as wives or mothers, and stigmatizes them if they’re divorced. New on the scene, the women’s liberation movement is largely seen as a goofy fad. Dirk Kleparoth, a widower, is the embodiment of this society. He’s attracted to Mara because of her availability and appearance and is willing to offer her a home despite her divorce. Plus, he needs a housekeeper (er, wife) and a mother for his four boys. He’s not unkind — he’s like most men in this era — just unaware and uninterested that Mara might have the capacity to be something much more. When Dorothy isn’t keen on a relationship with her new-found sister, she throws Mara for a loop. Mara, who blames herself for Dorothy’s removal from the family, has missed her baby sister all her life and is shocked and hurt that the feeling’s not mutual. Raking through the city and killing dozens, a tornado wrecks Mara’s trailer and her plans. It also saddles her with two orphan boys from next door, and their growling dog. Assignment 3. Breakout Title Sun Storm Under the Squall Trial by Storm Storm Damage Delivered Assignment 4. Two Comparables The Foundling by Ann Leary Both this novel and mine explore themes of women’s rights and eugenics, and both are inspired by true events in their author’s history. Go as a River by Shelley Read This historical fiction novel (based on real events) is similar to mine because the female protagonist must grapple with societal expectations, familial upheaval, and natural dangers in order to attain self-awareness. Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus Set in similar periods, both protagonists swim against the current of men’s rules and misdeeds, but Marasol Adkins can only dream of having the pluck, talent, and courage of Elizabeth Zott. Assignment 5. Hook Line Already a failure at family, a woman discovers her long-lost sister, who rejects her. Before she can convince her that she’s worth getting to know, she must survive a tornado, tend to two orphaned boys and their dog, and rewrite the rules of her society. Assignment 6. Inner and Secondary Conflicts Inner: Running water and the sound of rain cause Mara to hyperventilate and panic. She shakes, sweats, and moans. She can only take very short showers and has to turn up the transistor radio while she does. She has no idea why water affects her like this, but she’s pretty sure it has to do with the big mistake she made as a child which she can no longer remember. She’s also sure that mistake caused the break-up of her family. Secondary: Since his wife died a year ago, Dirk Kleparoth needs a wife and a mother for his four boys. He’s noticed the office girl, Mara, and likes what he sees. He rakes his eyes over the length of her mod outfit, sits on the edge of her desk, and compares her to the June pin-up calendar girl. He’s confident and proud of his generosity in overlooking her status as a divorcee. Not every man would take up with a tainted woman. Assignment 7. Sketch the Setting In 1966, Edmonton, Alberta is a small, isolated city whose citizens share conservative values and are suspicious of modern ideas, like women’s liberation and the new maple leaf flag. Mara works in the office of Surefield Trucking where she’s the only woman. It’s a dangerous place for children and is populated with rough, manly men who, even though she’s been working there for 18 years, see Mara as “the girl.” She beautifies her desk with porcelain foxes that she sets in charming family arrangements. Tall Pine Mobile Home Park is mistakenly named after the blue spruce at the neighborhood gates. There, some families let their trailers and yards fall into disrepair, but not Mara who prides herself on her tidy home, which she’s named Fox Hollow. She’s even painted it the color of a fox. Of course, the trailer park is particularly vulnerable during tornados. In Canada in 1966, the red maple leaf has just been introduced helping Canadians to redefine their place in the globe and their perceptions of themselves. It’s one year until the country celebrates its centenary, and the TransCanada highway has just been completed. Change is in the air. The mountains that Mara and the boys drive through display vistas that allow dreams to soar. But they also feature precarious roads that cling to cliffs, and peaks that sometimes close in tightly eliciting claustrophobia, especially around the town of Hope. Only one year has passed since the nearby slide that buried an entire lake. Along the way, The Voyageur Motor Court and Chick ‘N Lick Café are vestiges from another age. Whytecliff Park, British Columbia, features rocky outcrops, cold water that gets deep quick, and views that stretch all the way to the horizon. There, storms move in quickly.