Stuart Nachbar

I came into Write To Pitch as if I was part of the full cast of The Apprentice, expecting that I would be "fired" in an editorial way. I left with honest, but also encouraging feedback, as well as a direction for my novel that I could take off and run with. I learned so much that I was writing a revised outline with plot points and pinch points as I waited to pitch the guest editors and agents in the actor's audition setting and while I was at breakfast and dinner before and after each day. Michael and Juju encouraged me in the perfect way: tell me the truth about the story, give me ideas to make it better, give me feedback from the guest editors and agents and show me how to present myself and my work respectfully. Write To Pitch has a steep and fast learning curve. It was the best program for where I am as a writer. I look forward to the opportunity to participate in the self-directed program that follows.

My novel, America's Town Story Statement: Set in Fall 2007 as America's Great Recession begins, big bank business clashes with petty politics and "high school sports parentitus" in Gettysburg, America's most famous small town. Antagonist: Determined to stop First Colonial Bankcorp, aka "America's Bank" from opening a new branch in downtown Gettysburg, aka "America's Town," Stan Reynolds is an attorney, former mayor and county supervisor, still a local power broker who represents civic leaders in Gettysburg who, in reconciling history with prosperity, like things just the way they are and know little secrets about key players in town who do not share their views or aspirations. Stan sees First Colonial, a national bank that prides itself on customer service and community relations, as "the enemy" but also the latest "cash cow" that can fund causes that he and his supporters deem worthy. Stan also confronts Jay as a sports parent. His daughter, Megan, has been a reliable basketball player under a coach who has been in her corner but also in Stan's coffers for highly prized summer jobs. Her main rival, Stefani Baker, daughter of Gettysburg's borough administrator, has been "coached up" by Jay and her best friend, Bonita Blount, to become the better player and take Megan's starting job. Stan believes that Jay has "masterminded a takeover" of the team with the help Bonita's father and Stefani's, though he and two other fathers have daughters who are also senior starters. Title: My original title was Tip Offs, but America's Town was easier to explain and understand. It could also be used within the book as a poke at the "history and 'schlock'" feel in the community. The Ballers from Gettysburg, or something similar, seems kind of silly, given the past symbolism of cannonballs, but also the under-appreciated stature of girl's basketball. I did not like the idea of a title such as Standoff in Gettysburg, because people could confuse the book with a military story. Gettysburg has never won a state title in any sport, though football and wrestling are top-of-mind in the community. I started the story with an intention of answering a question: what if Gettysburg's first state champion was an under-appreciated one, like the girl's basketball team, and what might it take to get the community behind them? Ironically, the real Gettysburg High School girl's basketball team was in an "Elite Eight" in their group while I did my earliest drafts. Comparables: The Beartown trilogy by Frederik Backman: Beartown, Us Against You, The Winners. Blind Your Ponies by Stanley Gordon West,Racing the Rain by John L. Parker, Jr. and Broken Field by Jeff Hull. These are stories about how communities form around young people's athletic aspirations and their parent's ambitions. Backman's Britt-Marie Was Here is also a good "interim coach" story as is Head Fake by Scott Gordon. I'm currently reading The Happiest Girl In The World by Alena Dillon which focuses on friendships between young female athletes and among over-anxious sports parents I also read The Making of Hoosiers, non-fiction about how the movie was made, and the thoughts behind the story line. While fictional Hickory, Indiana is a small town "barely on a map," Gettysburg is a far more famous small town (less than 8,000 residents) that cares about public perceptions as it tries to reconcile obligations to history and tourism with the day to day necessities of life for its residents. Primary Conflicts: It's Fall of '07. Wharton grad Jay Siler is the fastest riser on the fast track at Baltimore-based First Colonial Bankcorp, the fastest-growing consumer bank in America. Led by CEO Rolland Johnson, First Colonial's mantra is Convenience, Customer Service and Community. Now at the height of his success growing the bank's retail branch network, at the nexus of marketing and real estate, Jay gets a new assignment he dreads. Rolland Johnson, Gettysburg College, Class of '69, wants him to get a branch built in downtown Gettysburg, the most famous small town in America. There's no sense to the project; it merely satisfies the CEO's ego, putting the First Colonial brand in front of near 3 million tourists each year. Jay runs into harsh community opposition, which he expected, led by Stan Reynolds, but also opposition to other options, some more lucrative, from within the bank. As Jay struggles to find a win-win, rumors circulate through the business press that First Colonial is in serious financial trouble. Jay has the business and human relations skills to outflank Stan--until the bad news about First Colonial in the business press makes that almost impossible. Secondary Conflicts:After a particularly bad meeting at Borough Hall, Jay meets Gettysburg basket ballers, Stefani Baker and Bonita Blount, on a nearby outdoor basketball court. He makes a strong impression on Bonita with his ball skills. Jay learns that Bonita is the most recruited athlete from Gettysburg in over a generation. He is later encouraged by Bonita and by Alben Baker, Gettysburg's borough administrator and Stefani's father, and his boss at the bank, Garrett Avery, a former U of Maryland basketball star, to coach up Stefani to become a better ballplayer to claim a starting job that is rightfully hers, only Stan Reynold's daughter, Megan, stands in her way.. Later, citing First Colonial's commitment to community as an opportunity for business, Alben pressures Jay to become assistant coach of the girl's basketball team at Gettysburg High, partly to look out for Stefani. Upon evidence of abusive misconduct upon Stefani by head coach Barry Hughes in a game where she is injured, Jay takes over as head coach, still struggling to keep Rolland Johnson's vision afloat in the community. Stan threatens to publicly "out" Kayla Franz, Gettysburg High's athletic director, if she allows Jay to take over as coach. But Herman Blount, Bonita's father, has Bonita ready to tell a reporter about how Stefani, her best friend, was injured and verbally abused, unless Stan backs off his threat. The former coach takes his frustrations out on Jay, proving that he, Kayla, Alben and Herman were right. So, Stan cannot carry out his threat. As the story unfolds, Jay is not so much worried that he will lose his job if he fails to bring a new branch to Gettysburg as he is for a girls basketball team that is not playing to its true potential, especially Stefani. He cares more about his players than he does about his job. As more bad news surfaces about First Colonial's finances, coaching consumes more of his time and gives him the satisfaction, the "highs" that he's never experienced in his work life. He has allies at First Colonial, Garrett Avery and Marjori Conover, and sympathy in the community from the fathers of the two best players, Bonita and Stefani, as well as Emily Grossman, a former high school basketball player, who leads the downtown organization in Gettysburg. The professional relationship between Jay and Emily becomes a lasting love interest as she helps him gain public support for the team. Hook (very short) America's Town is "Hoosiers with a girl's high school basketball team in Gettysburg, America's most famous small town." Hook (short) In the Fall of '07 before the beginning of America's Great Recession, Jay Siler, a young bank executive on the fast track, becomes a reluctant girl's high school basketball coach to help him navigate local politics in Gettysburg, America's most famous small town. As more and more bad news surrounds the future of his bank, Jay comes to care far more about his team than he does for his job. Hook (longer) : It’s Fall 2007, before the start of America’s Great Recession. Jay Siler, fastest riser on the fast track at Baltimore-based First Colonial Bancorp, aka “America’s Bank,” is tasked to open a new branch in Gettysburg, aka “America’s Town.” While Jay believes a new branch is a merely to satisfy the CEO’s ego, he finds an ideal site. But local officials led by Stan Reynolds, Gettysburg’s main “power broker,” are averse to compromising Gettysburg’s historical legacy, unless they can get what they want from a compromise. After a disheartening meeting at Gettysburg Borough Hall, Jay is struck by an errant basketball from a nearby recreation center court. There, Bonita Blount, a prodigious basketball talent, Gettysburg's most recruited athlete in over a generation, and her best friend, Stefani Baker, are practicing for the upcoming season. A Kentucky transplant, daughter of Gettysburg’s borough administrator, Alben Baker, Stefani has star potential but a flippant attitude. Tired from his meeting, Jay joins them in a shoot around, impressing Bonita with his ball skills. Bonita and Alben covertly campaign for Jay to "coach up" Stefani to reach her potential and join the coaching staff at Gettysburg High, believing he’s the key to securing Gettysburg's first state championship. Jay hesitantly signs on, only to face new conflicts with Stan, whose daughter, Megan, is Stefani’s main competition for a starting role, and unwelcoming head coach, Barry Hughes. When Hughes is dismissed for abusive misconduct after Stefani is injured in a game, Jay steps up as head coach. As First Colonial faces a financial and public relations crisis in the wake of the Great Recession, Jay's career and the success of his team hang in the balance. Setting: America's Town is set primarily in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. I have visited Gettysburg several times in my professional life. Outside of the famous battlefield, Gettysburg tries to balance history and tourism with the day to day needs of a community and college town. The balancing act is challenging; schlock operators compete with real historians for the attention of the tourists. Retail chains like banks, are pushed outside of the downtown because the college, city mothers and fathers want to protect Gettysburg's uniqueness for tourism. Parts of the story are set downtown, where I have been before, as well as just outside of town. Gettysburg High School is, in real life, a typical high school building that was probably built in the 1970s. Penn State-University Park is the actual setting for state championships and I have been to State College many times in my work life. Baltimore, headquarters for First Colonial Bankcorp, is an important secondary setting. Jay's home in Pikesville, Maryland, a Jewish enclave and suburb of Baltimore, also fits into this story. Below is an example from State College, PA, as it actually was on tournament weekend in 2009. From the streets of State College, Penn State sports begin and end with football. Coach Joe Paterno, affectionately known as “JoePa,” is an iconic brand. No visitor can get away from the life-sized cardboard cut-outs of JoePa that have greeted them outside the numerous t-shirt and school spirit shops along College Street. No one in State College would have known that Penn State was the host of the high school hoops finals unless they squinted to see the Welcome Pennsylvania High School Basketball Championships signs that hung from chain links below the bright yellow and orange street banners on the lampposts. On the day before a state championship tournament the streets were devoid of pedestrians. Penn State students were on spring break. The campus community was practically a ghost town. It was a shame that the Generals would not get a better feel of college life before they played the most important game of their high school lives. Kayla and Bonita took a trip to the woman’s basketball office to update the Penn State coach on the status of Bonita’s ankle while Jay took his team on a tour. He did not like the look of the campus; buildings blending in bland brown colors with few trees in between. But a statue in front of Old Main, the university’s administration building, caught his eye. It was a turtle—like the Maryland Terrapin—with the weight of the world on its shell. “That’s us, guys, we’re the turtle,” Jay said. Everybody laughed. “At Maryland they say ‘Fear the Turtle’. Are we the team to fear?” “Yeah!!!” they shouted. Passersby turned heads as the team started clapping. An audience of a dozen, possibly Penn State students who had decided not to go home, formed a circle and clapped along as the team cheered. A cheerful golden retriever barked along with the cadence. “Who are we?” shouted Stefani. “GEN-RALS!” her teammates shouted back louder “What do we want?” Stefani raised her hands in the air. “VICTORY!” “What do we want?” She shouted louder. “VICTORY!” “Bonita would love to see this,” Stefani said to Jay. “She’s got business. She’ll meet us at dinner.” “You think they’d take away her scholarship?” “Doubt it. Her ankle will heal long before summer camps. She’ll be more than ready for next season. But you never know,” he said, as the group started down the hill from Old Main to dinner.

This the first chapter of my novel, America's Town. If you have read the Beartown trilogy by Frederik Backman or seen Hoosiers, think of an unknown girl's high school basketball team becoming the pride of Gettysburg, the most famous small town in America, led by an unlikely, and reluctant coach. In real life, Gettysburg, aka "America's Town" has never claimed a state title in any sport. This first chapter introduces my protagonist, Jay Siler, two basketball players who are secondary characters, Bonita Blount and Stefani Baker as well as Alben Baker, borough administrator and Stefani's father, who has his own "power struggles" in Gettysburg. The narrative introduces the setting and aspects of local politics in America's Town. * Note this is my second update as I have learned so much from the pre-event readings and assignments. Back in the Fall of ’07, just before the Great Recession, when credit still flowed like rolling water, Jay Siler was a banker. But not a banker who lent you money. He built open, airy money stores designed to ease tensions between bankers—the ones who lent you money—and the nervous borrowers not quite prepared to sign on the dotted line. Branches were the First Colonial Bancorp brand. Jay Nathan Siler, so savvy at marketing and real estate, was brand manager extraordinaire. First Colonial prospered because branches were the business. They sold user-friendliness and convenience on weekdays and Saturdays, Sunday hours too, converting pennies to dollars for the kids, handing out more khazeray, useless plastic giveaways, than any other bank. This strategy worked better than paying an extra point of interest on checking or shaving a point on a mortgage loan. It made First Colonial profitable for over two decades. Only five-seven, physically fit and healthy though unintimidating, with thick curly black hair, Jay had grown up to become the “nice Jewish boy next door." or as Jewish mothers and grandmothers might say, an "adorable mensch." Jewish mothers kept trying to play matchmaker between Jay and their daughters, but Jay remained single at age 32. Jay's mother worried that her youngest son spent too much time at work, when he could have taken breaks, and at playing pick-up basketball games when he actually took them. Had Jay grown payes, the long sideburns that marked Orthodox beliefs, pinned a yarmulka on his curly head paired with white shirts and black slacks, he could have easily been mistaken for a seriously studious yeshiva student from Pikesville, Maryland, his hometown, where he still lived, a now ideal homebase for his job. Working online with considerable freedom from his basement office and traveling in the field, Jay did the research, found the spaces, negotiated the leases, bought the land, oversaw construction, and handled community relations until each new branch was up and running. Jay had a small team to help, and would have ordinarily delegated Gettysburg downward, but executive orders required executive action. Ten years out of Wharton undergrad, Jay often asked himself why he soldiered on for a bank. He dreamed about working alongside Donald Trump while he was in school. But The Donald was not hiring inexperienced apprentices, and probably not seeking them outside of his gene pool, before Jay’s graduation day. However, as he outpaced others on the fast track, Jay caught the attention of another flamboyant CEO. Rolland Johnson, First Colonial’s chief executive extraordinaire, Gettysburg College Class of ’69, cared greatly about the symbolism of First Colonial, aka “America’s Bank,” doing business in Gettysburg, aka “America’s Town.” Collector of all things Abraham Lincoln, wealthy beyond most anyone’s imagination, at the end of the prime of his business career, Rolland wanted to plant the bank’s flag not far from the site of the 16th President’s famous address. Rolland Johnson had one number in mind: two and a half million, the number of tourists who annually visited America’s Town. Why, he often asked direct reports, shouldn’t America’s Bank, a familiar friendly face, be in America’s Town to help them buy the last authentic Civil War collectable or satiate the ice cream screams of children too young to know why their parents brought them along? True, as a CEO, Rolland wanted to extend First Colonial’s brand. But he also wanted to give back to a community that had meant so much to him. Downtown Gettysburg is a historic district, partly a ward of the National Park Service. Historic districts are a pain to retail chains, especially commercial banks. Rules demand one-off signage that cannot be seen by passing cars and no drive-up teller windows. Brand identity lost to the cause of history. Arterial streets run from the Gettysburg battlegrounds into the downtown, lined with schlock shops selling pseudo–Civil War memorabilia, tchatzkah shops that sell the real stuff and keep it under lock and key, tour operators, and discount hotels, too congested to accommodate a new branch. Local entrepreneurs have prospered handsomely from the cause of history. The proposed branch for America’s Bank for downtown America’s Town landed directly into Jay’s lap, and never left. Privately, he wished that he could report that no suitable site was available and move on to more important things. To his luck he found a unicorn, a chance to get to yes in Gettysburg. A Seventies-style convenience store at the corner of Chambersburg and Washington Streets, the edge of the historic district, not far from where Confederate forces fired their first shots in the great battle, became vacant. The site offered plenty of space for off-street parking and drive-up teller windows. The zoning had changed. No other convenience store could go there, not that the borough mothers and fathers wanted another one. The now-abandoned store was a reminder to past mistakes. But there had been opposition to new banks in downtown America’s Town. So, Jay’s plans got to no amongst the folks at Borough Hall. Bank customers didn’t drop food wrappers and half empty-half full drink cups, but ATM patrons got robbed late at night. Banks meant more work for the local cops. They needed more protection than the tchatzkah shops. As the frustrations from his latest meeting with the local bureaucrats clouded his concentration, Jay walked through the town hall parking lot to his car. Briefcase in hand, he opened the trunk to his glossy black BMW. Then, as he dropped his work in the car, he heard a female voice from behind. “Yo! Look out!” Before he could discover a reason for the shouting, something smacked hard against his butt, soiling his charcoal grey suit. “Look, under your ride,” the voice called out. Jay bent to one knee and peered beneath his car. A basketball was lodged underneath the rear bumper. He picked it up and admired it—as if he recognized an old friend. “Please, it’s ours.” A teenage girl came closer. Black, six-four, her shiny black hair pulled back into a simple braid. Her red practice sweatshirt spelled GETTYSBURG in gold letters across her chest. “Where are you playing?” Jay twirled the ball with his fingers then dribbled it against the pavement. Gritting her teeth on every bounce, she pointed to a basketball court by the parking lot where another girl, tall White, with shoulder-length blonde hair, dressed in similar ensemble, stood impatiently, hands on hips, possibly with a score to settle. Jay saw no detectable expression on the other girl’s face-she stood too far away-but she was probably no more patient than her friend. He gripped the ball by the seams, eyed the net and fired. He almost never made a half-court shot on a bet in a pick-up game, but these girls didn’t know. It was all in the attitude, just like in business. So, what if he missed, they’d get a laugh at his expense. They’d have their ball back, too. No harm, no foul. But Jay’s shot hit the sweet square on the backboard and swished through without touching the rim. The Black girl's brown eyes popped wide. “Whoa! Nice!!! Are you some ex-college star? My dad played in college and the NBA.” “I’m Jay.” No reason to say more. He did not expect to see these girls again. “Nice shot, Doctor Jay, gimme five.” She raised her palm, expecting him to slap it- a rule that required equal response in any basketball challenge- and he did. “'Doctor' Jay?” Jay asked. “Do you know who the ‘Doctor’ was?” Julius Erving, the pro star who earned the title, had stopped playing basketball before these girls were born. “Oh yeah, Julius Erving. My dad talks about him all the time. I’m Bonita, she’s Stefani. You know H-O-R-S-E? I shoot, you match. Stefani matches, too. You miss, you get an ‘h,’ an ‘o,’ until you’re the horse’s ass.” Jay rolled his eyes in mock surprise and smiled. “I get it. You ready?” There was no place for Jay to put his jacket, so he left it on. Wanting to be a little bit more comfortable, he took off his tie and put it in his jacket pocket. Determined not to be first to ‘e,’ Jay picked easy spots to warm up for the more difficult challenges ahead. He quickly hit two high-percentage shots. “C’mon, ‘Doctor Jay’. A little kid can hit that. Try a real shot. Like this.” Bonita dribbled to the top of the key, the circle around the foul line. She set her feet and jumped. The ball left her right hand and dropped through the net as smoothly as it would have fallen from the heavens. First to fold, Jay could not match Bonita’s feathery touch after six difficult shots. “Oooooh, Doc, looks like you're the horse’s ass.” The words rolled cheerfully off Bonita’s tongue. “C’mon Stef,” she said, “Show me what you got. I’ll whip you like I whipped him. Or is your daddy comin' to the rescue?” Stefani checked her watch. "Ten to five. Plenty of time to beat you. Again.” “You wish.” She looked at Jay as she pointed a long finger at Stefani. “She’s beaten me twice in her life. So, she thinks she’s the superstar.” Jay straightened up, folding his arms, saying nothing as he watched Stefani pop a jumper from 15 feet. “That’s all you got, girl? I can make that on one leg.” Bonita bent her left leg back just enough to stay balanced. She fired the ball from between half-court and the free-throw line, too far to try for three in a game, except a “Hail Mary” at the buzzer. The ball swished through the net. Stefani stepped to the imaginary line and matched Bonita’s shot, also on one leg. Jay’s jaw dropped as the ball sailed through the rim. He played high school ball, moved on to competitive intramurals and summer leagues in college. But he had rarely seen a shooting exhibition like this. Almost as soon as the ball hit pavement after Stefani’s shot, a man, probably five-ten, a little taller than Jay, sandy hair groomed in a military buzz cut shaved on the sides, flat on top walked over from town hall. Dressed in blue blazer, khakis and a blue and gold striped tie, he wore the uniform that Jay had associated with the typical government worker. They didn’t wear expensive banker’s suits in the small towns where First Colonial opened many branches. “Hi, Stef, I’ve got a little work to wrap up," the Government Man said. "I’ll be back in ten or fifteen minutes.” “Okay, Dad,” Stefani answered, as she dribbled towards a new spot for a new shot. “Hey, Mister B, I’m showin’ Stef a few tricks.” Bonita spoke too teen casual for Jay’s taste. But Stefani’s father didn’t seem to mind. Concerned that Mr. B, the Government Man, might be a mad dad, Jay did not introduce himself. The Government Man offered no greeting, but asked: “What’s he doing here?” “Oh, we took him for ten bucks,” Bonita said, and winked. “He strutted on over and bet he could out-shoot us.” Bonita winked at Jay and smiled a devious smile. Unaware of the private joke, the Government Man stared down Jay. “Make sure you pay up, okay?” he said. While the Government Man walked back to town hall, Jay took two tens from his wallet, one for Bonita, one for Stefani, and dropped them on the court. Bonita snatched the bills and put them into her sweats pocket. “Hey, one’s for her. Both of you beat me fair and square,” Jay said. “Just holdin’ on to my money.” Bonita laughed, waved her arms in Stefani’s face, positioning herself between Stefani and the basket. Stefani bounced the ball between Bonita’s legs. Catching her own pass, she raced to the basket and scored. “You’re gettin’ between my legs, girl! You’re so bad!” Stefani and Bonita slapped palms. But they did not include Jay in the celebration. Ten minutes later, on-schedule, Stefani’s father returned. “See you around, Doctor Jay,” said Bonita. “Next time it’ll be two outta three. But I’ll need only two to make you the horse’s ass.” “Did you pay up?” The Government Man asked Jay. “He did, Mister B. His money’s good,” Bonita said. Stefani blushed an angry crimson. Bonita still had her ten dollars. Bonita headed to her car, a faded white Chevy with bright white spots that marked where decals and wide tape stripes had once been. Stefani and her father got into a green-grey Ford Crown Victoria, the only Crown Vic in the town hall parking lot that was not black and white and red on top. Jay knew that the top dogs in the town halls drove those plain wrapper cars all the time.