Jump to content

TaraK

Members
  • Posts

    2
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Profile Fields

  • About Me
    Colorado writer recovering from corporate magical thinking syndrome.

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

TaraK's Achievements

Member

Member (1/1)

  1. This scene is part of the second plot point, building the action to drive the protagonist towards the climax. McTeague’s voice boomed over the assembly, his words sharp and theatrical. “It is not enough to have caught him stealing. That is only the surface. What you must see—what you must learn—is that betrayal corrodes everything.” The crowd shifted uneasily. Mothers pulled their children closer. Fathers stood rigid, hands flexing uselessly at their sides. Beside Joy, Margaret whispered, “This is wrong.” Fatima’s jaw clenched so tight a vein pulsed in her temple. Two guards dragged Hunter forward. He didn’t resist, didn’t plead. His eyes were steady, locked somewhere far beyond the crowd as if the gathering storm of bodies, sweat, and fear meant nothing to him. “Hunter here thought he could take what belongs to the collective,” McTeague announced, pacing before them like a prophet in polished boots. “But Haven is not a place for selfishness. Haven is not a place for weakness. We endure together—or not at all.” Joy’s stomach flipped. She had seen men like this before, men who dressed cruelty as leadership. Theatrics mattered more than justice. Fear was the glue. A table was dragged forward, its surface gleaming under lantern light. On it lay the object McTeague revealed with deliberate care: a machete, broad and gleaming, its edge catching the firelight until the reflection burned in Joy’s eyes. The crowd gasped in unison. “Punishment must be visible,” McTeague intoned, resting his hand on the blade. “So that all of you—each and every one—will remember the cost of disobedience.” Margaret made a small sound, half-sob, half-growl, muffled quickly by her own palm. Joy swallowed hard, her throat raw. Fatima didn’t flinch, but her hand reached blindly for Joy’s wrist, nails digging deep enough to leave crescents. Hunter stepped forward of his own accord. He placed his left hand on the table, palm open, fingers splayed. No words, no protest. The hush that fell over the yard was absolute. For a heartbeat Joy thought—hoped—that McTeague would stop. That this was all theater, intimidation, a bluff to bind them closer in fear. But then the machete rose. The blade came down with a sound that cracked through the silence, a wet, metallic finality that tore Joy’s insides apart. Hunter’s hand—no, what remained of it—fell from the table. His body folded forward, but no scream came, only a shuddering breath that rattled the crowd more than any cry could have. Children wailed. A woman fainted. Men looked away, ashamed at their own relief that it wasn’t them. McTeague lifted the blade again, slick now, his face shining with a grotesque triumph. “This is Haven,” he said, voice low but carrying. “This is survival.” The guards dragged Hunter back, his blood trailing dark streaks into the dust. Beside Joy, Margaret whispered, “God help us all.” Fatima’s grip on her wrist finally released, leaving Joy’s skin throbbing. And Joy knew, with a clarity that cut deeper than the machete itself: there was no safety here. Only performance. Only control. Only fear.
  2. First Seven Assignments 1: Story Statement Joy’s mission is to unmask the true motives behind Guidestone’s efforts in order to save herself and the other captives in Haven. With help from the other women of Haven, Joy’s mission is to unmask their captors true motives and live to tell the tale. Joy’s mission is to uncover the true motive behind Guidestone’s takeover and escape back to her solitary life unscathed. 2: Antagonistic Force The primary antagonistic force in is not just a single villain but an organized regime, “Guidestone” operating under shadowy leadership. Their goal is to select, control, and transport only certain people deemed worthy of survival, while the rest are left behind—or eliminated. The regime operates under the guise of the ends justifying the means, undertaking horrendous acts in the name of creating a future utopia for only a select group. Many blindly follow, failing to ask important questions about their true motives or see obvious red flags. Maureen is a good embodiment of this calculating network, using the single, faceless monster to exact her own cold motives behind the veneer of ensuring the overall survival and sustainability of the survivors. Maureen is able to take decisive action without letting relationships or emotion get in the way, drawing parallels between her and the protagonist, Joy. Each woman is driven by the need to preserve their way of life, though they go about it in ways far different from the other. Where Joy would like to be left alone to live as she sees, Maureen would like to orchestrate how the lives of the survivors play out. 3. Breakout Title: The Truth Beneath the Ashes The Last Safe Place Flashpoint 4. Genre & Comparable Titles Thriller or Dystopian thriller is the best fit for this manuscript. While there is a speculative fiction bent, it lacks the mystical, sci-fi, magical realism components often seen in that genre. Wool by Hugh Howey: explores similar themes of control and authority, rebellion and hope. Not only are both protagonists women, they are both guarded loaners who must help uncover the truth behind the lies they have been told about the groups controlling their respective realities. The Monkey Wrench Gang by Edward Abbey explores similar themes of eco-terrorism. Guidestone sees their efforts as a solution to the systemic environmentally damaging systems in the modern world, much as the gang in Abbey’s work do. Though they aim to change the overall capitalistic systems, only by assuring the survival of the planet first can they seek to address the issues of financial, racial, and gender inequality that mar life in modern America. The Red Rising Series by Pierce Brown: like the series, the manuscript explores control through oppression and lies. The series grapples with accepting the consequences of one’s action and the sacrifices that must be made along the way to achieve goals. Each plays with the constant internal tension between the desire for freedom and revenge verses honoring duty to others. They explore the ideas of how power corrupts, and that even those with the best of intentions can be swayed by the temptation that broad authority can offer. 5: Logline: I have written and re-written these a million times. I have one that is what I would call very basic, the other two more dramatic. · After getting caught up in violent coup, an avowed loner must risk trusting others to unmask her captors and find a way to freedom. · Joy never planned to be anyone’s hero, but in a country consumed by fire and fear, the moment she chose to protect two children instead of fleeing alone became the moment her survival truly began. · For Joy, survival has always meant staying unnoticed. But when she’s thrust into the role of protector, her greatest risk isn’t capture—it’s caring enough to fight for more than just herself. 6. Conflict: The first level of conflict centers around Joy verses her oppressors, Guidestone: She is fighting against this authoritarian regime leading them to an unknown fate. She must outwit not only the guards, but suspicious passengers, and deal with the constant threat of outed as a stowaway. Survival means hiding in plain sight and navigating the power struggles within Guidestone and among the other survivors. The second level of conflict centers on Joy verses herself, or her aversion to trusting others. Following a tumultuous childhood in foster care, Joy has come to avoid building more than surface level relationships with others. Joy’s instinct is always to protect herself first—she’s sharp, cautious, and fiercely independent. But by accepting responsibility for the children and the wounded man, she is forced to wrestle with vulnerability, attachment, and the moral cost of survival. The central question becomes: Will she cling to her independence and abandon them if it ensures her survival, or will she risk everything to protect people she never meant to care about? This secondary level extends to the unexpected friendships she forms with the other women in the group. 7: Setting The initial setting of the manuscript is a dingy rail yard, before moving to the interior of the train itself as the survivors move through a burnt out landscape towards and unknown destination. Both the rail yard and the train itself are bland and utilitarian, leaving the group more time to focus on their final destination. They throw around ideas and build up some anxiety around this next place, as well as the people responsible for taking them there. A secondary location they find during a short stop while still on the train. They’ve spent days zigzagging through the mid-West moving ultimately towards the West Coast, where they stop and take in an unburned area – the first they have seen with green foliage still growing unharmed since leaving the city. It’s brief, however, and will be revisited later after they land at their final home. This home is Haven, a small city whose exact geographical location they aren’t sure of. It’s a smaller, high altitude city (likely in Colorado) that Guidestone feels is suited to survive the remaining effects of climate change, even with the reduction in population and as such, reduction in greenhouse gasses. It’s your average middle-American city, complete with some older ranch style homes and a small central downtown area that will become the hub of their activities. Guidestone sets Haven up to run as what some might consider an intentional or wellness community. There is a focus on growing and eating locally, as well as providing residents access to nature (eventually) and other healthy outlets. They won’t need to drive with everything intentionally walkable, leaving ample time for family and community connection. For many, it’s the type of dream community and lifestyle they have dreamed of for years. Only, it’s strictly run by a group that has shown they will kill if necessary to keep things under their control. The secondary ocean-side location mentioned previously is traveled to at the end of the manuscript, called Avalon. It’s Guidestones HQ, a compound where the leader, Gerald, and his senior leadership live. They will plan from this location how to continue the growth of their new population. It’s a far cry from Haven’s more relaxed lifestyle. Here it’s luxury, resort-style living being enjoyed as the prize for taking down the most powerful nation on earth. Meals are prepared, there are ample wellness and health options in addition to a pristine beach – the last remaining beach on the east coast not burned along with the rest of the country.
×
×
  • Create New...