2025 and 2026 New York Write to Pitch - Seven A

Story Statement:

In 1973, in Madinah, Saudi Arabia, sixteen-year-old Alia Ezz Eldeen is a studious girl who dreams of a world beyond the restrictions of her culture and her loving but dogmatic father, Mohammad. A friendship with an Australian classmate, Kylie, opens her eyes to new possibilities, but a forbidden photograph leads to a brutal punishment that shatters Alia's trust. The traumatic event, followed by a transformative trip to Egypt and the sudden death of her father, forces Alia to confront the true meaning of freedom, family, and her own inner strength as she battles her oppressive uncle for control of her future and her father's legacy, his beloved bookstore, and to choose her own spouse.

Antagonist:

1. Her father, Mohammad, is a conflicted patriarch whose deep love for his daughter is expressed through suffocating control, representing the central tension between tradition and individual freedom. Mohammad is not a simple villan; he is the emotional core of the novel's conflict. He is a complex and tragic figure- a man who wants to protect his daughter from a world he fears by building her a cage. His internal struggle and eventual glimpse of understanding make him a deeply compelling character whose arc will resonate with readers who know firsthand the complexity of family love.

2. Her uncle Essam, a tyrant who believes a woman's place is in the kitchen as a mother and wife. This antagonist is the more dangerous one. He is opposing Alia's every dream and drowning her in suitors until she gives him verbal consent. 

Core Wound:

An arranged marriage is looming in Alia's world, an unwed pregnant girl needs her help to give birth, and a picture says a thousand words about a world Alia knows nothing about. Stacked against all this newness is a determined young girl, Alia, whose quiet rebellion against tradition escalates into a courageous fight for her very soul. She refuses to be defined by the limitations placed upon her. Her journey from dutiful daughter to self-determined woman shapes her. Her rebellion is not just against her family but for her identity, making her deeply relatable to any reader who has ever felt torn between duty and desire.

Other matters of conflict:

After her father passes unexpectedly, Alia finds herself and her future in the ruthless hands of her uncle. He has wanted to marry her off since she turned sixteen years old. This fight for autonomy is unlike her fights with her father; it is menacing, and if she falters, it proves to end all her dreams.

Alia is measured by societal expectations, and reputation is her currency. Everyone scrutinizes everything. When Alia goes out at night to help a pregnant girl give birth to an illegitimate child, she trembles with fear. Her only armor is doing what is right even in the face of losing her reputation and thus future marriage prospects as a wife.

1.     Titles:

Rosewater

What the Wind Knows

The Bookstore on Al-Anbariyah Street

The Luminous City's Daughter

2.     Comps

  A Woman is No Man — Etaf Rum-

• This comp highlights the raw, unflinching exploration of patriarchal constraints within a conservative Arab American family. Like my manuscript, it delves into the painful realities of domestic control and the secret dreams of women.

  The Pearl That Broke Its Shell — Nadia Hashimi

For women to gain freedom and provide for their families in patriarchal Afghanistan, exploring themes of resilience, identity, oppression, and the enduring strength needed for women to control their own fates across generations.

  The Henna Artist — Alka Joshi-

• This is a strong comp for its historical setting (1950s India) and its focus on a female protagonist navigating the complex rules of her society to build a life on her own terms. All three books explore themes of reputation, female enterprise, and tradition.

Setting:

The story takes place in Madinah, Saudi Arabia, where the sand is dry and the heat is scorching.  Sandstorms are around the corner, making a blanket on all furniture, cars, shops, and windows. The parallel of the setting and the weather coincides with Alia's inner fears and tribulations. The oppressive heat and the fragrant scent of oud and spices are a stark contrast between the private world of women and the public world of men.

Cairo

The loud noise of the chaos that rules the city of Cairo, with the honks of the cars and chatter of the people, makes it vibrant in contrast to Madinah and its soft presence.

Assignment #1

STORY STATEMENT

Through a series of events, twelve-year-old Kato is pulled into a quest to a hidden world that his mother, Zena, is connected to with the intention of preventing Barnafus, a trickster who has escaped prison, from destroying their secret community’s annual mission of supplying miracles to people all over the world.

Assignment #2

ANTAGONIST

Two hundred years ago, Barnafus, an uninspired pottery maker stumbles on his life’s mission after noticing the nearby toymaker leaving his successful business for holiday travels. He becomes persuaded that the toymaker journeys to a secret world.

Determined to live until he knows, Barnafus sells his soul to various witches to extend his life. Retreating to a cave for solitude, he only leaves only to stalk the toymaker, his son and then his grandson.

After a chance meeting of one of their relatives he sets out to win her affection. Marriage and two children later, he pressures her to take him to visit her family, although it was established that she’d go alone.

Once integrated with them he becomes unnerved by her jolly do-gooder relatives and advocates to move into a position of power. When the family denies his request, he becomes outraged, rationalizing they owe him. His attempt to take over fails, so he kidnaps his sons.

One year later, he is imprisoned for breaking and entering a toy company. With revenge consuming his being, Barnafus eventually breaks out and reaches out to an old frenemy to help him get back to steal Saint Nicholas’s reign over Mahalitheluji.

Assignment #3

BREAKOUT TITLE

Journey to The Land of Snow

Welcome to Mahalitheluji: The Land of Snow

Journey to Mahalitheluji: The Land of Snow

Assignment #4

GENRE AND APPROACHING COMPARABLES

Genre:

Journey to the Land of Snow is a Holiday Urban Fantasy Adventure

Comparable titles are*:

Christmas Chronicles

Merry Wish: A CHRISTMAS ADVENTURE by A.C. Salter

Assignment #5

HOOKLINE (LOGLINE)

A young boy, who doesn’t seem to fit in with the other boys, and his family that has recently expanded with new colorful relatives, learn about a hidden world that his mother, Zena, is connected to and that happens to be inhabited by the original Saint Nicholas and his peculiar Mahalians. A series of telling events pull them into a quest to prevent Barnafus, a trickster who has managed to live over 200 years and recently escaped prison, from destroying their secret community’s annual mission of supplying miracles to people all over the world.

Assignment #6

Inner conflict - protagonist

Kato, the main character, struggles with not knowing himself. It’s not that he doesn’t like himself. He does and he is confident and driven. The problem is he isn’t driven in any particular direction. When he thinks about what inspires him or what he’s drawn to, nothing comes to mind except playing casual football or playing occasional video games with his best friend. His mother and her sisters own candle boutiques. They love candles and have built their lives around the candles they make. His father, Jabari is an optometrist, who relishes in his work. Even his younger sister talks about one day having her own candle shop like their mother and she is like a walking encyclopedia of candle history, types and scents. He wishes he were passionate about any one thing like them.

Assignment #7

Secondary Conflict involving the social environment

Both Lulana and Kato’s mom, Zena, have married men outside of the greater family. As a result, both have been living in exile and unable to return to their home. The women struggle with the decisions they made to build their family which landed them away from their loved ones. Yet, their love for their families makes the conundrum more sensitive. Will their actions of trying to help their community allow them a second chance or will they get them pushed further away?

Assignment #8

SETTING

Setting 1:

Kato, the main character’s home

On the outside, a typical suburban home in New Jersey. With close neighboring houses and minivans in the driveways. Inside, Kato’s mom Zena makes over the top casseroles that are savory and include avocado, greens, okra, tomatoes, and beef or salmon or shrimp, casseroles that are sweet and filled with apple and honey, French toast and mixed berries or Egyptian bread pudding, and casseroles that are sweet and savory all at the same time like apples and sausage or spicy kale and sweet potato. During the holiday. 

From November until the end of May, a Christmas tree proudly stands in the living room with bright purple painted leaves and green, blue, red and gold decorations and lights adorning its every branch.

Setting 2:

Mahalitheluji/Mahali Square/Keep Giving Festival

They move straight ahead towards Mahali Square, driving down a narrow road, filled with trees that have just enough room for one small tram to pass the other. The siblings want to sit back in the seats because they are so comfortable and inviting, with colorful blankets and toss pillows to snuggle with, however there is so much to see that they sit back and look at the winter wonderland that is before them. Snow is everywhere, yet the car feels warm and perfectly heated. The road feels like a hidden gem surrounded by majestic towering mountains that extend as far as the eye can see.

The siblings gaze out at the small-town square. The best description that comes to Kenya’s mind is, “Magical.” She can’t help but vocalize it as she takes in a winterized African village smack dab in the middle of snowy mountains. In the distance an opulent building that looks like a palace with blue stain glass windows and the structure made of sand baked mortar with a red velvet carpet laid out in front of. Even closer is an oversized colorful tree. The branch seems to be one color, yet the leaves on each branch are a different color of blue, green, red, purple, pink. Kato couldn’t keep his eyes off it.

There are people buzzing all around Mahalitheluji. A group hang a sign that reads, The Mahalitheluji Keep Giving Festival. Set up with long curved tables that make an enormous spiral, a group decorate them with plates and flowers and candles and silverware. The entire layout for the festival is beautiful and elaborate, including coordinating table and chair never-ending table runners. Festive music that sounds like a mixture of Christmas and Afro Dance can be heard throughout the grounds.

Across the grounds a lady dressed in a colorful dress trimmed in gold. On her head an elaborate headwrap. Sitting in front of her are children on monoxyl chairs with short back. Each of the children are five years old and under and sitting in awe as the lady tells them a story.

Upon close observation, there is no snow on the ground or the trees or the shrubs in the village.

Setting 3:

Le Morne Brabant Mountain, Mauritius

The clear sky was unobstructed by clouds allowing the moon to shine bright on the back side of Le Morne Brabant Mountain. It is here high above this vital, yet exclusive location in Mauritius that we find the caravan of relatives of Kato that he doesn’t even know exist, in a sleigh drawn by grand flying Kudu. They soar through the night sky and know when to look below them to spot the mesmerizing underwater waterfall just off the coast. Zaila becomes giddy every time she experiences the illusion of water falling in the ocean, although she is aware that it was merely the sand falling down. They land in front of a clearing just in front of a what looks like a wall of rocks. Although the mountain is a busy tourist attraction by day, it remains unoccupied at night, which makes it the perfect location to hide their prized candles in a place that no one would think to look. The waves crash softly against the sandy beach below the mountain, and the lush palms in the distance.

In the dark, solemn cave. Silence falls over them as they are immediately impacted by the energy still lingering from the Maroons who once inhabited the caves to escape being traded into slavery. Their history is a melancholy and tragic memory they face every time they enter the environment. When they were there, hiding out and living in the caves, the Mahalians brought them food and basic tools every year they held refuge there. They even offered to fly them to their land and allow them to live and work with them, however none were comfortable enough with the idea of flying, save one. Obadias’ grandfather, who incorporated his life with them and became a member of the Special Forces. In exchange they allowed the Mahalians to continue to hide their candles there and pledged to guard them with their lives. Unfortunately, the Maroons eventually took their own lives when they thought they were being ambushed and forced back into slavery.