Nick Donner

Chapter 1

Death felt much like a hangover. The light from the other side was brighter than he expected, and it shone through the cloth over his face. Corbin blinked; his hot breath blew back against his face. His body ached as he reached for the piece of fabric. The moment he removed it, Corbin knew something was drastically wrong.

He was not dead.

Corbin rolled to his side and saw a man dressed in white clothes that matched his, lying still, flat on his back, palms on the earth in peaceful eternal rest, where Corbin himself should be, as well. Corbin whipped his tongue around his mouth, fighting off the dust he had breathed in over the night. He struggled to stand, and when he did, he bolted to a nearby stream, twenty-four white shoes and socks lined up at the edge of the water. He ran in knee-deep, cupped his hands, and hastily ladled water to his mouth, not giving a thought if it was safe to drink.

His thirst now quenched, Corbin gave his blurry vision a moment to focus on the scene through the glare of the morning sun. Ten bodies remained in a circle with their heads closest to the fire, now burnt down to a smoldering pile of ash, the smell of campfire lingering in the air and in his clothes, now speckled with black ashy dots.

Corbin stumbled out of the water, now awake enough to feel the rocks jabbing his feet with each step. The reality of what he had attempted and what these other men succeeded at was beginning to set in. His chest heaved as he raked his dirty hair and staggered back to the incomplete circle of dead bodies. Corbin’s panic was suddenly distracted by the one spot, other than his, that was also empty. It had been dark last night as they all took their places, preparing to lay their mortal bodies to rest, and Corbin was not convinced he knew where each man had lain. He did not want to touch the others, but since they all wore the same clothes and their faces were covered, he could not be sure who was missing.

Corbin gently lifted the cloth from each face. He only knew them by their first names, instructed that there was no need to share anything else that had defined them while they were alive. Taren and Nathaniel were next to where he had lain. He continued removing the face coverings around the group clockwise. As he got closer to completing the circle, his teeth began to clench, and his blood boiled.

“Please don’t be the one missing,” Corbin muttered as he lifted the second-to-last cloth.

Corbin knew while lifting the last cloth. Sam’s dead pupils looking straight up and his mouth gaping open. Ben was the one missing. Corbin dropped the cloth. He looked up and down the stream, shielding his eyes from the sun, scanning the riverbank they had come down the night before.

First, betrayal began to set in. He had put his life and all his trust in Ben, who had promised to take him to a better place. Corbin did not want to be here. He wanted to be in the eternal life with Ben and these other men.

Why would Ben leave them? His foggy mind was still processing his anger when a rush of anxiety flooded his entire body. Maybe Ben woke up as well, disoriented and lost.

Corbin needed to find Ben. He needed Ben’s help to start over. He could only hope Ben had not gone far.

“Ben!” Corbin croaked, his throat still raw. He swallowed hard. “Ben!”

Chapter 2

Three weeks earlier. Downtown Seattle.

Corbin rolled over and gazed at the blank space in his bed. Now that he had run Becca off, he longed every morning for another chance to see her. He missed how she would lay her head on his chest hoping to keep him from getting up. He would only give himself a minute or two of stroking her beautiful mussed black hair, revealing a tiny scar above her left eye. She could never remember how she got it. His hands would move to the smooth tan skin of her back he could not resist touching.

He now stroked the sheets as a reflex.

Corbin replayed the mornings with Becca in his head. The 5:00 a.m. alarm would blast him from his few restless hours of tossing in bed and her from her deep sleep.

“I know things are crazy at work, but it would be nice if you took the day off and stayed in bed with me,” she pouted.

Corbin was now disgusted by his answers.

“I can’t lose my accounts. Not all of us can make a living with a tough, artsy, three-hour workday.”

Corbin knew his comments would sting her even as they came out of his mouth. He would kiss her and tuck her back in, trying desperately not to let her sad sigh get to him.

“I’ll try to leave early today,” he would say. They both knew it would not happen.

No matter how perfect his personal life, the thought of failing in his career tugged at him, never allowing him to stay away from work. Ironically, now that Becca was gone, he found the drive to get out of bed harder and the need to save his career less urgent.

Corbin eventually escaped the bed and from reliving the agonizing scenes that led to their breakup. He let the hot water run over his head as Nirvana roared through the Bluetooth surround sound in his bathroom. A world of flannel, torn jeans, and weed that he had left far behind. A mosh pit in his teens had provided a release from life’s pressures that he had never been able to replicate. Now dressed in a sleek grey suit, stale marijuana odor replaced by five-hundred-dollar Creed cologne; freedom replaced with the mundane.

Assignment #1  THE ACT OF STORY STATEMENT

A burned-out financial advisor named Corbin is recruited by a charismatic stranger, Ben, into a suicide-ritual network that promises the freedom he longs to achieve. Corbin’s simple end-of-life wish unravels when he survives a mass suicide pact while others die. Ben is gone, and he becomes the prime suspect. Corbin must uncover Ben’s monstrous scheme, understand why he was chosen not to die with the rest, clear his name, and save the woman he loves, all while trying not to turn into Ben himself.

 

Assignment #2  THE ANTAGONIST OR ANTAGONIST FORCE

Ben Halden rises from childhood trauma with righteous anger to escalate into a manipulative killer. He is convinced, and in most cases not wrong, that there are monstrous men walking among us, with no consequences from their actions, shielded from justice by power, status, and wealth. Ben tamps down his rage behind a façade of compelling charisma, intelligence, and a soft hand to hold when people are at their worst. He has perfected the skill of recruitment via false empathy, sly guilt, and manufactured empowerment.

Ben’s life becomes an obsession to execute a campaign of engineered despair and theft, and ultimately convince those men that they will only be free by relinquishing all their worldly assets and ending their miserable lives together.

Ben is terrifying because he believes he is righteous, and his ability to convince others to take their own lives seems to come to him with ease. He feels the calling to orchestrate a ritualized freedom for men he judges as morally corrupt makes the world better. This disturbing moral conviction makes him magnetic and frightening to those who truly know him.

 

Assignment #3  BREAKOUT TITLE

The Good One

Exit Strategy

The Last Camp

 

Assignment #4 TWO COMPARABLES

1) The Girls — Emma Cline (2016)

Similarity: Both novels examine the magnetic pull of charismatic leaders on vulnerable people and the psychology of recruitment into destructive communal behavior. The cult atmosphere, intimate female/male dynamics, and slow burn toward violence echo The Good One’s focus on manipulation and moral complicity.

2) The Incendiaries — R. O. Kwon (2018)

Similarity: A literary‑minded treatment of radicalization and cultlike devotion, The Incendiaries explores how grief and yearning make recruits vulnerable to an ideological leader. Like The Good One, it balances internal character study with the external consequences of extremist recruitment.

Assignment #5 HOOK LINE

A disgraced advisor wakes amid a mass suicide and must chase the charismatic architect before the law convicts him—forcing a desperate man to choose between vengeance, survival, and the family he nearly destroyed.

 

Assignment #6 CONDITIONS FOR INNER CONFLICT AND SECONDARY CONFLICT

Primary Conflict:

Ben lures desperate men to a lakeside camp, and a single survivor, Corbin, is left to take the fall. Corbin must unmask Ben’s fake persona and clear his name before he’s framed for ten murders.

Secondary Conflict #1:

After waking up near the ten bodies, Corbin had nobody to turn to except for his ex-girlfriend. She announces that she is pregnant with his child. Even if Corbin can elude law enforcement and clear his name, will he ever be fit to raise a child?

Secondary Conflict #2:

Corbin spent most of his life reaching for the almighty dollar and always looking down on those who were not as ambitious. A doorman named Ricky was the recipient of most of Corbin’s arrogant demeanor. But when Corbin had nobody, Ricky was there to help. Ironically, Ricky is much more successful than Corbin. Can Corbin shed his ego and show Ricky, his only real friend, how much he means to him?

 

 

Secondary Conflict #1 Scene

“I know this seems crazy.” Corbin forced a laugh, hoping it would lighten the mood. Becca did not decompress even the slightest. “Once I find Ben, I’m sure it’ll all make sense. I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess. I’ll leave and figure this out.”

Corbin spun away to go.

“Wait…”

Corbin turned back. “Is this when you tell me I have so much to live for? Everything I had was burned along with all the possessions of the other men.” Corbin clenched his fists as he continued to defend his decision. “We were all happy to go. All of us. Content with leaving this world behind. Nothing meant enough to stay!” Corbin finished by slamming his hand on the table. A tingle of guilt surged through him the moment he was done. Becca’s sober look was telling Corbin she did not recognize him anymore. He dropped his head and started for the door.

Corbin heard Becca stand and take a few steps toward him.

“I’m pregnant.”

Becca’s two small words were like being hit in the back of the head with a shovel. Corbin froze ten feet from the door. He could continue, storm out and act like he never heard those words, find Ben and go to his end as planned. It seemed so simple only seconds ago.

Corbin did not want to ask if it was his. He already knew the answer, or Becca would not have said anything. “How long?”

“Four months.”

Corbin turned to Becca, tears now rolling down her cheeks. “I tried to deny it. I even thought about ending it multiple times. I never stopped wanting you. I wanted to tell you, but I did not want you to think I did this to get you back.”

“This is why you were so eager to come and help me.”

“Yes. When I picked you up, I figured you were taking some sort of sabbatical or retreat to find yourself again. I had no idea you were struggling so much. After seeing this, I didn’t know if I should tell you. But you deserve to know.”

Corbin returned to the living room and sat in one of the lounge chairs. He tilted his head back, trying to hold tears from coming while he processed the idea of becoming a father. “Why tell me now?” Corbin wiped his sweaty palms on the arms of the chair. “If you thought I had so little to offer before, it is far less than that now. I have no money, no identity, or stability to offer a child.” Corbin lifted his head and looked at Becca. “It would probably be best if it doesn’t ever know me.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” Becca looked Corbin in the eye. “You can turn things around if you put your mind to it.” Her soft voice calmed Corbin’s thumping heart. “But you must decide what is more important to you: ending your life with this Ben guy or turning things around and raising your child with me.”

Becca’s last two words stunned Corbin. “With you?” Corbin’s desire to leave this world began to wane. The only thing of meaning in his life still had a chance.

“I still love you, Corbin.” Becca rested her hand on his knee. “Never stopped. But if you are going to be the father this child needs, you’ve got to sort out the stuff you have gotten yourself into and start getting your life back together. I really want you to be involved with our child, but I need to make sure you are healthy.” Becca squeezed Corbin’s knee gently, stood, and walked to the kitchen.

Corbin’s world was supposed to end last night. If he had just known about the baby a few weeks ago. He had to tamp down frustration and anger at Becca for not telling him. She had done the right thing. He was not in a place to be a father before he met Ben. Going to his end with no family and no ties to his life was no longer the same. He had a child coming and a family if he chose to have it. It was too soon to tell if he was cut out for it. In the meantime, he needed to know why he and Ben woke up.

Corbin rose and met Becca in the kitchen. She was leaning with her hands on the counter, watching two tiny cups being filled by a large stainless espresso machine. The aroma transported Corbin’s thoughts to months ago when Becca would sneak out of bed early and try her hardest to make them special handmade morning lattes. It often turned out to taste horrible and made a mess, but Corbin loved the gesture and always choked it down.

“I don’t know if I can come back to a point that will make you want to be with me, but if you haven’t given up on me, then I have to try.”

 

Assignment #7 SETTING:

The Good One’s setting revolves between downtown Seattle and the forest hills to the southeast of the city.
Seattle is one of the most expensive cities to live in, but is also synonymous with coffee, rain, the birth of grunge music, and Amazon. It provides the perfect characteristics for a young person trying to reach for wealth at any cost, but it also offers opportunities to recall cozy talks with friends at the coffee shop the night after seeing a new group of long-haired flannel junkies singing their hearts out. The place to age but not grow old. 

The forests and hills surrounding the city are the ideal place to escape when someone cannot find the financial success they are craving, but have also realized they are too old to get the same feeling they had in the 90s from the new music scene. 

This limbo will allow a charismatic person to lure those struggling to a getaway in the woods. Give them peacefulness, brotherhood, and a splash of guilt so they can be convinced to do horrible things, especially to themselves.