BridgetteP

Attached is the first chapter of my YA sci-fi coming-of-age novel, A Girl Between Worlds. This chapter establishes setting and introduces the protagonist and (indirectly) the antagonist, plus a couple of supporting characters. AGBW Chapter 1.pdf

Hi! Here are my responses to the exercises for my YA sci-fi coming-of-age novel. This was fun! -Bridgette Portman #1. STORY STATEMENT 17-year-old Auria Jones, the first human born on Mars, must prove herself resilient and capable enough to achieve her lifelong dream--going to Earth. #2. THE ANTAGONIST There are several antagonists in the novel, but the primary one is Auria’s mother, Kasmira Jones. Kasmira, a celebrated astronaut, explorer, and microbiologist, made history as the first woman to give birth on Mars. Suffice it to say, it's a lot to live up to. She holds authority over Auria not only as her mother, but also as Chairwoman of the Martian colony’s Command Council. When Auria asks for permission to leave Mars for Earth, Kasmira flat-out refuses, insisting that Auria is too young to make such a life-altering decision and also that she lacks the emotional and psychological fortitude to handle the trip there and the adjustment to life on Earth. This, of course, only pushes Auria to want to prove her mother wrong. Deep down, Kasmira loves her daughter, but the two have a dysfunctional relationship. Kasmira conceals her emotions and is not demonstrative with her affection, which leads Auria to believe she is cold and uncaring. Having drawn the wrong lesson from her husband’s death by suicide, and unconsciously repressing her own feelings of guilt, Kasmira prefers to quench and stifle negative feelings rather than openly express them. This puts her on a collision course with her daughter when Auria develops depression. Ultimately, I see Kasmira as an exaggerated reflection of many real-world parents who struggle to connect emotionally with their children, and who unwittingly enable the perpetuation of generational trauma. #3. TITLES My working title is A Girl between Worlds. I think it captures the novel's premise and tone. Originally, I had titled it I Was a Teenage Martian, which I liked but felt too humorous. Other possibilities: Dreams of Green and Blue A World All of Dust Where the Stars Never Twinkle #4. COMPARABLES In searching for comps, I have been looking specifically for YA sci-fi novels with female protagonists, racially and ethnically diverse characters, LGBTQ+ representation, and themes of mental health, friendship, and a little romance. I've found several recent books with these elements, including: The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow (2020) -- This novel features a 17-year-old girl on a futuristic, dystopian Earth ruled by alien creatures who prohibit emotional expression. Themes include mental health (the protagonist grapples with anxiety), friendship, and romance, and the cast of characters is inclusive and diverse. The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum (2019) -- This is a novel about a friendship (and blossoming romance) between two teenage girls, one of whose mother is a space explorer. The protagonist, like Auria, dreams of space travel while feeling constrained by her circumstances. In addition to themes of mental health, this one also feels appropriate because of the centrality of the mother/daughter relationship. #5. HOOK Plagued by depression following her father’s death, a teenage girl born and raised on Mars must convince her strict, judgmental mother to let her move to Earth. #6. INNER CONFLICT Auria's major inner conflict is with her depression, which she describes as "dust storms" in her mind. While some of her feelings are due to situational factors, it comes out late in the novel that a large proportion of it may be genetic -- her father, who was also prone to depression, died by suicide when Auria was a child. Auria has good and bad days; at her worst, she finds it a struggle to get up in the morning and concentrate on school and work, and she is overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness, self-doubt, and anxiety about the future. Convinced that going to Earth is the only way she will ever find lasting happiness, Auria's inner journey over the course of the novel is toward greater self-insight and the realization that healing and joy are possible, even on Mars. Auria's depressive episodes are often triggered by situations where she feels inadequate or at fault for something. In the following scene, she has just crashed a rover, and while she is all right physically, her thoughts spiral into darkness. Shani feels guilty for encouraging me to drive, even though I insist it wasn’t her fault. Dr. Greene apologies for not keeping us under closer watch, but it wasn’t their fault, either. It was no one’s but mine, and the guilt and shame settle into the pit of my stomach like an icy rock. It physically hurts. As I lie on my bunk, my ankle wrapped in a soft bandage, I stare at the message I’d been composing for Ryan. I can’t bring myself to finish it. I think about how I’m going to break the news to him that I won’t be coming to Earth. The thought of never seeing him in person, never having a real conversation with him, makes my eyes sting with tears again. “Ria?” The voice comes from above me. It’s Shani. I shut my digipad and pretend to be asleep, but I’m far from it. The dust clouds on the horizon might have dissipated, but they’re in my head now and I can’t get them out. My mother was right. I couldn’t do this. I’ll be on Mars forever. The cruel voice inside me is crowing. Too bad the crash didn’t kill you. I can sense my thoughts orbiting around that darkest place, that hollowness at the center of the storm, and it terrifies me. But I don’t have the strength to fight anymore. It hurts so much that I have to do something, though I don’t know what. In terms of secondary conflicts, a major one is between Ria and her mother. Ria wishes to go to Earth, but her mother, Kasmira, refuses to allow her to leave Mars. In the course of their first argument in the novel, some deep-seated grievances come out: “I’m strong, Mom.” It’s true. I’m as physically fit as anyone at the Base; I’ve spent an hour in the gym every sol since I was a kid. We all have to, to keep our hearts and other muscles strong in the lower gravity. “And I could exercise even more on the way to Earth. There’s artificial gravity in the Ferry, right? For the people coming here, it’s decreased little by little so they get used to it. Why couldn’t the same be done in reverse for me?” But my mother is a wall of steel. “What about your immune system? You’ve had no exposure to terrestrial bacteria and viruses. You would have to live in a bubble.” “Like I don’t already?” “This is absurd, Auria. The answer is no.” I’m running through my list of arguments and coming to the bottom of the page. “If I can’t adjust…I could always come back.” “The next flight window wouldn’t be for months.” “I…but maybe—” “Go to bed now, Auria.” I stay rooted to the spot. “Did you try to stop her too?” “Who?” “Grannie Pacie.” For a moment, something flickers in my mother’s eyes, something softer, something wounded. “Yes. Of course I did. The whole Council did. She’s made up her mind; there’s no stopping her when she’s set on something. But Grannie Pacie is an adult. You’re a child.” A child. My cheeks heat up. Something ugly and bitter is swelling inside me. I grit my teeth against the words that want to come out, but I can’t hold them back. “So you won’t let me go to Earth because you’re afraid it might hurt me? Might even kill me?” She raises an eyebrow, but she nods. The rest of my words hiss out, hot as steam. “You didn’t have any problem with that when you decided to conceive me.” My mother stares, and I can tell for a moment that I’ve truly stunned her. Her face is like a shield cracked by a meteorite. Her mouth even falls open. But then she snaps it shut, and her eyes turn to ice. I almost feel sorry I said it, but any chance I’m going to take it back fizzles out with her next words. “And I suppose you’d rather I hadn’t made that choice? Is your life here so difficult, Auria? So onerous and terrible and unfair that you’d rather not be alive at all?” I open my mouth, but my words evaporate. I don’t want to tell her the truth: that sometimes I’ve thought just that. Especially on the days when the dust clouds take over my mind. #7. SETTING Harmonia Base: The major setting for the novel is an underground human settlement located near the edge of Hellas Basin in Mars’s southern hemisphere. Outside is an expanse of red dust, boulders, craters, and ravines under a butterscotch sky. It's a world of frigid temperatures, dangerous radiation, and thin, unbreathable air—not at all fit for human life. The base, which was built inside ancient lava tubes, offers shielding from radiation and maintains a constant temperature and air pressure for the approximately 300 Martian settlers who live here. Tunnels radiate outward from a central meeting chamber, the Hub. In addition to habitation pods for each family, the base contains exercise and recreational facilities, research labs, a nursery, classrooms, fish ponds, and the Green Tubes, where fruit trees and vegetables grow under artificial lighting. The latter is Auria’s special haven, as it reminds her of Earth: If I close my eyes, I can pretend on I’m Earth. That’s easy to do here in the Green Tubes. The air is damp and sweet like a first kiss, heavy with the scent of soil and worms and snails and ripening tomatoes. Somewhere past the ten meters of rock and dirt above my head, I know the sky is a sickly yellow, but I can imagine it’s a brilliant blue. I’m by a lake somewhere, on a hot summer day, and I’m dressed only in a bathing suit. The breeze ruffles my hair. I’m at peace. I’m calm. I’m happy. The insular nature of Harmonia Base makes it difficult for Auria to find privacy, which helps intensify the interpersonal conflict throughout the story. (When you can't escape from someone, you're forced to deal with them.) The frequent dust storms that sweep over the Martian surface and keep everyone underground are also a nice metaphor for Auria's depressive episodes. Ultimi Camp: Several chapters take place at a research facility near Mars’s South Pole. This small camp, surrounded by rugged frozen plains and glaciers of carbon dioxide ice, is even more isolated and insular than the main base. It's here that Auria reaches one of her lowest emotional points in the novel, though she also begins to feel the sparks of a romantic relationship with another character, Siddharth. In one scene, it snows--a rarity for Mars--and the two of them are united by their fascination and joy upon discovering this. The Lander: Near the climax of the novel, Auria is on a spacecraft about to head for Earth, but not through her own will--she's been kidnapped. The lander is a small capsule, bare and devoid of anything she might use to escape her captor. Outside the window she can see the curve of Mars. From this vantage point, Auria realizes how much she loves her home planet and the people on it, and the view gives her the motivation she needs to try to fight back. Filling the window before me is the curvature of Mars. For a moment it feels unreal. It’s like a painting. The sun is rising, making the horizon look like a rusty red brush stroke with a thin limb of blue. I can see faint wisps of clouds spackling the deserts and valleys and craters. It’s a thousand shades of red and brown and copper. I’m reminded of my flight in the Barsoom, but this is different. I can see everything at once. The dark area below us must be Hellas Basin. Harmonia Base is there, somewhere in the midst of it, obscured by the night and too small to see from this distance. Everyone I’ve ever known and loved—truly loved—is there. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. My gaze drifts upward to the blackness of space. That blackness is infinitely deep and cold. The stars do nothing to warm it. It’s endless. It’s pitiless. It’s not where I belong. And I’ll be damned if I let Myles drag me into it.