Sarah B.

This is my opening scene.

The second time I stepped foot in the Ocean Grove Public Library, I was a murder suspect.

The first time, I was simply trying to get out of the rain. Already two miles from my dorm, I was suddenly pelted with raindrops from all directions, my wet hair whipping into my eyes and mouth. I had been hoping to grab a picnic table by the bay, but I saw the sign for the library and changed direction. I was halfway through my first semester at nearby Presidio University, a junior transfer student, and was hoping to find someplace without distractions where I could grind through the assignments that were starting to overwhelm me.

Although the library felt peaceful as I stepped in from the storm, it was busy. The children’s room on the right was filled with toddlers rocking and bobbing like tiny drunks while a woman dressed in a huge ruffled skirt and an old-fashioned bonnet led them in song. It looked like fun. Definitely more fun than writing a paper about soft drink preferences for my statistics class.

I found an empty table and tried to get to work. But instead of reading my assignment, I took in my surroundings. Storytime was over, so toddlers and caretakers were milling around, chatting, chasing each other (toddlers, not caretakers) and creating a constant buzz. People were wandering the aisles and checking out books. All normal library stuff. But the person I couldn’t take my eyes off was the librarian.

She sat at the reference desk in what had to be a custom chair, at least half again as wide as an average office chair, several inches taller, and covered in rich red leather. Even sitting, I was sure she was taller and wider than any woman I’d ever seen. The golden yellow paisley of her blouse and the rich purple of her cardigan were striking, but what made her most interesting was her presence. She sat in that chair like a queen on her throne.

The desk had a sign that said “Ask Me Anything.” Common in libraries, I’d seen them in many I’d visited as a child. We’d moved a lot and I’d learned that librarians loved to help. Some liked to help so much that I could get them to practically do my homework for me. Others were less susceptible to my charms and asked more questions than they answered. But nearly all of them were kind, and for a lonely, curious child, the reference desk was a refuge in every new town.

So, the sign wasn’t unusual, but this librarian was. There was a long line of people waiting to sit in the chair across from her. They would lean forward to ask their questions quietly. The librarian’s eyes would take them in, then perhaps close for a few seconds. Sometimes I thought she’d fallen asleep. She never looked at the computer to her right or got up to get a book, just spoke quietly, or wrote a few words on some scratch paper with what looked like a fountain pen.

I was peering over my laptop screen instead of at it, finding yet another way to avoid my homework. I didn’t want her to catch me staring, but my curiosity, always my downfall, made it hard not to watch. Once she had given an answer, every single person appeared incredibly grateful. Several people tried to take her hand, and that was the only time she would move, rolling her chair backwards, out of their reach.

One young woman with a pink mohawk and tattoos of mermaids on both calves cried as she left the desk, but she also walked a little taller than she had when she approached. What question had she asked? As I watched, the librarian’s eyes slid over and looked directly into mine. Heat rose up my cheeks as I turned my eyes down to my screen. Ugh! She didn’t miss a thing.

Finally focusing on my assignment, I realized I had stumbled on an opportunity to get some extra credit. I could earn ten extra points if I could find a unique source of statistics about soda. I had seen the sign for the local history collection when I came in. Maybe this librarian could help me find something, an old newspaper article on what people here liked to drink or an advertisement for a hometown favorite. Talking to this librarian seemed like the best way to kill two birds, or at least have an interesting conversation. When the chair before her was finally empty, I approached.

“Hi,” I said. “I’m Arlie. Can you help me with some questions?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” said the librarian, without a smile or any other movement of her face or body. She also didn’t introduce herself, but her nametag read “Nora.”

“I’m working on a project for school. I need populations and demographics at the county level for all fifty states.”

“Census.gov.”

Ok, I did know that. “Can I get all of that summarized in a table?”

“Census.gov.” Darn, she was that kind of librarian, not going to do my homework for me.

“And, soda preferences, both geographically and by race, age, and gender?”

“There are several studies, one done in 1986, one in 2001, and the latest in 2015, all published in Marketing Digest and available through Statista. We don’t subscribe here to scholarly databases, but the Presidio University library has access. And if you want to get an A, you should pay close attention to Georgia and North Dakota. Dr. Henkel grew up in North Dakota. He loves to talk about their unique tastes in soda.”

“What? How do you know I’m in Dr. Henkel’s class at PU?”

“He does the same project every October. If you’re truly trying to avoid homework, go to Sigma House, mention pickles, and you can get an A paper for $400 or a B for $300. At least that was the going rate last year. I don’t condone their activity, but if Dr. Henkel is too lazy to make even the slightest deviation in his assignments, you can hardly blame the students.”

This was not the type of information I was used to getting from a librarian. I didn’t believe in cheating, but it was good to know I had options.

“Ok, thanks? I was just hoping for some extra credit. Do you have any local information that would be helpful? I see you have a local history collection.”

She finally made eye contact with me, then looked me up and down slowly. “No one has ever asked me that before. In fact, we do.” She picked up her phone, hit one number, and asked someone on the other end to bring her a copy of “the 1919 Pop Wow report.”

“Sal will bring you something you can use in just a minute. Any other questions?”

I couldn’t help it. I was intrigued. I loved asking questions. “Why are people so emotional about the answers you give them here? This doesn’t seem like a normal library.”

“I don’t believe in ‘normal.’ And why do you ask so many questions? What is it that you really want to know?”

“Answers. I like answers.”

“Hmm. Here are some answers. You recently transferred to PU From UCLA. A strange move, unless you flunked out or were kicked out. I don’t think it was either. You just moved here, but you’ve visited before. As a child, probably. A trip to the aquarium. A fond memory. Perhaps with a loved one you’ve lost. You moved a lot as a child, and you are comfortable with change. Perhaps more comfortable than you should be.” With that, she rolled her chair back and hoisted herself out of it. As she lumbered toward the hall behind the desk, she turned once to look at me, as though she was committing my face to memory. Why was I so intrigued by this large, middle-aged librarian? And how did she know so much about me?

FIRST ASSIGNMENT: write your story statement. 

Arlie Wynne hoped that starting over at a new university in Ocean Grove, California would give her a quiet, uneventful life after the chaos she left behind at UCLA. She’s stayed off social media and resisted cyberstalking anyone from her past life. She’s kept her focus on her homework and her waitressing job. So it just isn’t fair when the groom at the worst bachelor party ever turns out to be her ex. And although she’s often wished him dead, she finds herself trying, and failing to save his life. She’s made all the smart choices, lately, and now she’s the one accused of murder. Twice. Preferring to rely only on herself, she’s reluctant to accept help. But there’s the handsome nepo baby who joined in her failed CPR attempts, along with his charming marine biologist grandmother. And the large, grumpy librarian who, apparently, considers finding a murderer to be just another reference question. Since constantly adapting to fit in has only led to trouble, maybe she should finally listen to her own instincts about who to trust and when to speak out. But with a murderer on the loose, is now really the time to stay and fight, or should she just move on to the next new town?

SECOND ASSIGNMENT: in 200 words or less, sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story. Keep in mind their goals, their background, and the ways they react to the world about them.

Nora Fox: More of a Marilla character, Nora is slow and thoughtful to Arlie’s quick to action and judgment. She is exactly who she appears to be, and doesn’t hide her opinions. Arlie needs Nora’s help to find the true killer, but she chafes at Nora’s structure and refusal to jump to conclusions. Nora’s past has led her to value security, predictability, knowledge, and comfort. She is willing to fight for justice, but she will only act as a last resort. She prefers to use her intellect and her connections with others to assist in the fight.

Dan White: The murderer, has waited in the wings his whole life. Stepping in to his father’s job of financial advisor and overall life manager for the Doring family, he is sure his loyalty will eventually be repaid and his lifelong love of Barb Doring reciprocated. After all, he deserves it. But when Barb’s son Chet announces he is getting married, entitling him to the remainder of the family trust, Dan’s dreams are in danger. When he realizes a simple tweak to a bachelor party prank could save his job and allow him to play hero, he decides to finally take action. His murder plot is successful, but no one is reacting the way he imagined. Barb is doting on a newcomer and has no time for him. Chet’s fiancée is making demands and bringing unwanted attention to what should be private matters. That pesky librarian and the outsider he had hoped to pin Chet’s murder on are poking around where they don’t belong. And family secrets being revealed means he needs to kill again to secure his future with Barb.

THIRD ASSIGNMENT: create a breakout title (list several options, not more than three, and revisit to edit as needed).

Ask Me Anything

Don’t Ask

I would love to find something better!

FOURTH ASSIGNMENT: - Read this NWOE article on comparables then return here. Develop two smart comparables for your novel. This is a good opportunity to immerse yourself in your chosen genre. Who compares to you? And why?

The Postscript Murders by Elly Griffiths

Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers by Jessie Q. Sutanto

Both of these authors write modern cozy-adjacent mysteries with a cast of diverse characters who become found family. Amateur sleuths combine their skills to provide justice when the regular channels fail.

FIFTH ASSIGNMENT: write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound following the format above. Though you may not have one now, keep in mind this is a great developmental tool. In other words, you best begin focusing on this if you're serious about commercial publication.

Hoping to escape the drama of her recent past by moving to a new university in a quiet beach town, a young woman finds even more trouble when she is accused of killing her ex-boyfriend and another person she’d tried to forget, and must learn to trust her own instincts about others to save herself.

SIXTH ASSIGNMENT: sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction.

Conflict: A Navy brat who has lived all over the world, Arlie is great at reading the room and fitting in. Sometimes too well, so she’s not sure anymore who she is versus who she has adapted herself to be. The one time she let her true self shine through, calling out her frat-boy boyfriend for his potentially criminal treatment of young women, she is shunned on social media and in person. Determined to blend in and just get through her classes at her new school, she avoids attention and getting close to anyone, until she’s back in the spotlight and accused of murdering the very same ex she had hoped would die.

Arlie bristles when she sees injustice, but she has promised herself she wouldn’t get involved in anything that wasn’t hers to do.

Scene: Working her part-time job as a waitress, Arlie finds herself dealing with the frat-boy types she knew all to well at a bachelor party at the golf club bar. Listening to the crude jokes about the bride and enduring lude comments, she sucks it up and puts on a glowing smile instead of delivering the punch in the nose she knows they deserve. That never ends well. When the groom ends up being her ex, she wants to scream but doesn’t react, except to spill a glass of water on him. And when he falls to the ground with convulsions, she knows she can’t just watch. Her dad taught her to step up, so she has to try to save even his worthless life. When he dies anyway, Arlie wonders why she bothers and longs to crawl back into her dorm room bed. But when she’s accused of killing him, she knows she has to fight, no matter what the consequences.

Next, likewise sketch a hypothetical scenario for the "secondary conflict" involving the social environment. Will this involve family? Friends? Associates? What is the nature of it?

Lyle Rowan was the only other person at the bachelor party to step up and try to save Chet. He is charming and funny, and Arlie finds herself attracted to him. But she doesn’t trust her own instincts or anyone else, especially a handsome, charming, rich guy. The push and pull of Arlie’s feelings and inability to trust cause tension and conflict throughout the story, especially when Lyle could also be the murderer. Here are some of Arlie’s thoughts:

Sure, this guy Lyle jumped in to help with CPR when no one else would. But he’s a nepo baby with a bad reputation, and grew up with Chet. Why should he be any different? He’s handsome and charming, and he knows it. Okay, he has spent his time learning to be a top-notch nature photographer instead of partying all the time like Chet. But he’s left two powerful women, an Oscar-nominated actress and a tennis player who beat Serina, at the altar. But he’s polite to his grandmother and fed me rather than griped when I was starving. He seems like he might actually be a nice guy. But I thought that about Chet once upon a time, didn’t I? Or did I just think he was fun and exciting? And that being seen with him would get me access to the best parties in LA? I saw the pecking order at UCLA and made my choice. I was as attracted to the glamour and the instant circle of “friends” in the top sororities as the next college freshman. I lightened my hair and scoured the internet for the right dresses and jewelry before I even landed in LA. So who was I to judge? Aunt Linda was always good at knocking some sense into me when my desire to fit in got bigger than my sense of right and wrong, but she’s gone. And I certainly can’t trust myself, let alone anyone else.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT: sketch out your setting in detail. What makes it interesting enough, scene by scene, to allow for uniqueness and cinema in your narrative and story? Please don't simply repeat what you already have which may well be too quiet. You can change it. That's why you're here! Start now. Imagination is your best friend, and be aggressive with it.

Ocean Grove, California looks like Mayberry on the beach. A tiny, quiet town nestled between Monterey and Carmel, few people even realize it exists, and just think it’s another neighborhood in Monterey if they think about it at all. But for centuries, there has been more going on here than meets the eye. Women have held roles from mayor to architect. And when they couldn’t wield direct power, they formed the Society of Helpful and Enquiring Women to get things done more discreetly. Tourists come to walk the gorgeous coastal trail and admire the charming bungalows, but most never realize the intricate structure of women supporting truth and justice that hold the town together.

Ocean Grove Public Library has a reference desk like most public libraries, with the “Ask Me Anything” sign. But no other library has Nora Wolfe sitting like a queen on her throne, answering any question a patron dares to ask. Lost children have been found, cheating husbands exposed, and murders solved, at this desk. Except for the never-ending line at the reference desk, the library is quietly bustling like most small libraries. The large windows that overlook the bay in the reading room attract students and retirees. Story times and local history lectures are regularly scheduled. But Arlie quickly realizes that, more than any other library she’s been to, this is a place where she belongs.

Nora’s home, aka the Society Clubhouse is a solid craftsman bungalow two blocks from the library. Owned by SHREW, the comfortable living and dining rooms on the first floor are where members meet. Filled with decades of well-build hand-me-down furniture centered around the huge tiled fireplace, these rooms contain photos of past members, books they’ve written, and memorabilia of member successes. Mitzi, Nora’s wife, reigns over the kitchen, providing food for meetings along with meals for the customers lucky enough to be on her weekly food delivery list. Mitzi is the best chef in town, but you have to be willing to eat what she’s in the mood to make. Nora and Mitzi live on the second floor, behind the bright red door few are invited to pass beyond. The third floor is available, according to Society charter, to those in need, for as long as that need exists. This is where Arlie ends up when she is unable to return to her dorm, in a cozy attic bedroom with a window seat that has peeks of the bay.

Isla’s Shell House is Lyle’s grandmother’s house. Isla, a marine biologist who worked with Jacque Cousteau when she was younger, had it built for her on the coast in Cobble Beach by an architect friend in the 1960s. Small but perfectly designed for its environment, every room has a view of the ocean, and no space is wasted. When Arlie gets a chance to stay the night in the Pearl Room, she never wants to leave.

Presidio University is the small university in Ocean Grove where Arlie enrolls after leaving UCLA. It is where her Aunt Linda went to college, and the reason her aunt brought her to Ocean Grove every summer. It is located at the top of the hill, furthest away from the ocean you can get in Ocean Grove, in the Grove part of town. Nestled high in the trees, PU is a world unto itself, where few students bother to venture into the rest of the quiet town. Due to her last minute decision to transfer, Arlie is stuck in a triple dorm room in one of the oldest dorms, on a floor full of freshman. As a transfer junior, she feels older than her years and overwhelmed by the chaotic energy of 18-year-olds on their own for the first time. Her roommates, best friends from Turlock, thinks she’s strange even before she’s accused of murder, and the college grapevine makes it impossible for Arlie to stay on campus once Chet is killed.

Various Local Restaurants: Since most of the local restaurants are owned by one conglomerate and Arlie only works part-time, she is sent to various restaurants for her shifts, each with different vibes and staff expectations. La Rue is quiet and French. Shenanigans, the golf bar, is rowdy and loud. Arlie’s skills at reading a room and adapting enable her to work at both, and other restaurants, without a thought. And getting to know staff gives her insight from locals that she otherwise wouldn’t have.

The Coastal Trails through Ocean Grove and Cobble Beach are Arlie’s escape. She can run for miles, get away from the dorm drama, and hold onto her memories of her many visits here with her Aunt Linda. Often the trails are bustling with tourists and bicyclists, but early in the morning or late at night, she can have them to herself, except for the occasional sea lion or pelican.