bellaamar

The air in the steppes was different today. It wasn’t the merry laughter of the impending spring equinox celebrations. Something was amiss. A feeling as oppressive as a thunder storm had seeped into the serene landscape. It was pungent, not in smell, but in sensation - a prickling awareness that danced on my skin. I looked over the once never-ending, sea-green grass that was now like blades beneath the snow, adorned by the distant holy mountains. The grazing grounds past the huddle of round gers lay empty. The herd had still not returned from the night before. It wasn’t rare for the herd to wander off but this was under my watch. I had to retrieve them or else risk scrutiny from the Oboq’s wife. I placed down the different bowls my grandfather had asked for. He was chanting outside our brightly decorated ger. The rhythmic beat from his animal skin drum was hypnotic. Facing each direction one by one with his eyes closed. He had his headdress, the animal hair covered his face. An array of golden eagle feathers adorned the top. Small mirrors reflected the harsh sun deflecting evil spirits. He was the shaman of our tribe. Shamans in the Runnu empire were all rounded up and killed a hundred years ago except in the north. Shaman’s were rare and one like my grandfather who could manipulate the weather, and let deities use his body as a vessel to protect us were even more so. The energy was flowing from his staff on his back resembling a large white wolf’s head as the protection wards flew up in the air. I knew not to disrupt him during a ritual. “My child you need to get going before the festivities start,” my grandmother said as she mixed beef stew behind me. Blotches of red stained her skin from the harsh sun. I inhaled the salty warm smell. She smiled at me endearingly as she passed me a piece of hard cheese. The sweet taste burst into my mouth. Altan my golden bankhar dog wailed in response. “I know grandmother, I am leaving now,” I said as I picked up my bow and arrows snug against the warm felt of the ger. “Not for you yet,” my grandmother dismissed Altan as he moved at the motion of her hand. Momentarily excited. Suddenly a black horse darted past our ger. My sister’s young horse was as volatile as her. “Buyan!” my grandmother called out. “Get some control!” I warned as I shook my head. “I have control,” Buyan said as she circled around me. Her almond shaped eyes were wider than ever. She pulled her reins in as the stubborn horse shook its body. Her braids fell around her shoulders onto her dark blue deel. Her high cheekbones were sneaking out from underneath the remnants of her childish face. My grandfather slightly grumbled as Buyan’s horse stomped too close to him. The bells and tassels from his cuffs clanged together. “If you can’t control that horse, how are you going to bring the herd?” my grandfather muttered. Buyan turned her red face away as she pulled her horse towards me. “We will,” I said gently. “Let’s go Buyan.” “Hush, let the children be children!” My grandmother barked at my grandfather, before giving one last loving nod to me. Our grandfather shook water from his pouch towards us as he muttered words, a slightly less frustrated nod to me. “Be careful my children,” my grandmother said as she inhaled my cheeks with her nostrils. Her hands were warm on my skin. I walked towards the line of horses tied to the wooden pole further up the stream. Different instruments were being played, my grandfather would soon infuse the music with a ritual allowing it to emit flourishing energy around the land. He was going to use the energy of the clan’s singing and dancing to amplify his ritual tonight. Between the many scattered round felt gers stood the largest ger draped in golden fabrics. Unlike the other gers it stood on wooden stairs. The Oboq was our leader with loyalty to the Khan of the Runnu empire. She was wearing a luminous golden deel, with her hair dressed in a red headdress with pearls running down on two sides of her face. She threw milk into the air, to ask the gods to protect her sons. There was a lack of men at the camp today. Most of the able bodied warriors had been called to the Toriad Capital. Kharkhot was a day’s worth of riding at medium pace if they used four horses each to switch between. Other members of the clan were taking different things to be set up for the celebration. The northern mountains stood high on the horizon without a single stain of human life. The lush forests upon them gave them a green hue. Greenery seeped into the steppes, trying to rid itself of the winter. Blotches of snow stuck to the ground at various distances. “Can you smell it all, it's going to be beyond tasty,” Buyan said on top of her horse, “I am going to be so full I’ll not move at all tomorrow.” Her light brows were like strands of grass. Her high cheekbones were settling into her face, her nose like a button. We resembled each other a lot except my eyebrows were as dark as the night. “I better hope there’s enough delicacies left with you around,” I laughed as we approached the horses tied to the pole. I untied my horse Tsagana as she neighed my long braid slithered over my arm. “Shhh, Shhh,” I said softly, half wiping my sweaty palms on her sturdy body. “You’re alright.” My arm hairs pricked up as Tsagana stomped her hooves. My senses were elevated as I tried to push my worries away. Altan nudged his head at me. His soft golden fur swayed in the wind as I patted his enormous body. The others called him a lazy herder as he preferred to stay with me at all times. The burning cold sun blurred my eyes as I looked over to the other horses tied to the wooden pole, they shook their heads repeatedly. “You don’t think the horses are acting strange?” I asked. “No, why would they?” Buyan said. Her bow was sticking out too wide against her slim frame. I jumped up on my horse in one swift motion as my orange deel glided over it. I guided my horse parallel to Buyans as the sounds of nearby children running around laughing filled the air. One of our younger cousins ran around with his chest bare, his clothing tucked in his waist carrying a wooden sword. A pack of medium sized bankhar puppies followed them, like small bear cubs their barks like hiccups. The other children thundered past them following the stream running on the left. Their joy kept them warm. Buyan tried to slow her horse down, as she sped towards the empty pastures. I exhaled deeply, accelerating my horse. Soon the scattered grey and blue of the gers were behind me. We chose to move our gers to different pastures as it allowed the grass to recover from our herd. This was our summer location where the lands would be even more lush than before

THE ACT OF STORY STATEMENT Haluna must infiltrate the evil Khan’s court and save her kidnapped sister. THE ANTAGONIST PLOTS THE POINT Berke Khan was always jealous of his bearer ‘magical’ siblings. After making a deal with a deity of the underworld, Berke Khan gains soul-sucking shadows. After usurping the throne, he takes Haluna’s sister after killing her tribe because of her mysterious golden light that stops his shadows. Berke Khan will do anything to keep his power and grow it. People are puppets to him, he has tried to make Prince Ariq as cold and ruthless as him. He wants people broken to control them better. Believes he has been chosen by a god. At the palace there are people who seem like friends but maybe foes like the dowager empress who takes Haluna under her wing. Some foes who could be friends. A place where the monsters were silk. Further on there are higher deities who have plans for the mortals they toy with. The people without power could die therefore everyone is power hungry. CONJURING YOUR BREAKOUT TITLE Strings of Gods The Shaman Queen The Khan’s Curse DECIDING YOUR GENRE AND APPROACHING COMPARABLES The Cruel Prince - Holly Black. - Similar in that it takes the morally grey power hungry court with the enemies to lovers aspect of Cardan and Jude. Except that my book is set in a world inspired by the mongol empire with shamanic magic system. The Poppy War - Similar setting of shamans and asian inspired world. Haluna is also a strong character but she is there to save her sister not to become powerful. The Alchemy of Souls - korean drama on netflix - similar in that Haluna is undercover inside the palace trying to take things apart. Set in a magical asian inspired world. CORE WOUND AND THE PRIMARY CONFLICT After dark magic wipes out her tribe and the ruthless Khan takes her sister, a young woman must infiltrate his court to rescue her—but a cunning prince threatens to unravel her plans. sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction. She is traumatised by losing her tribe. She is in survival mode and will stop at nothing to save her last family member. There will be a lot of turmoil to be able to infiltrate the court under other pretences and not show that she hates them so much. There is conflict in that she will start to feel like she has allies there, sometimes she doesn’t like doing the evil deeds to bring down the Khan’s court from the inside. There is a little bit of beginning to like the palace and not wanting to hurt certain people but at the same time she wants to for her sister. (For example, becoming loyal to the empress dowager. Or closer to the Prince.) She and the empress dowager forge a letter and she must use the Khan’s left hand man’s stamp to seal it to frame him. There is a lot of guilt she feels in having a hand in succeeding and having him be murdered for it. She feels a bit like she is becoming too much like them. It is worse when she finds out that he was actually not loyal to the Khan. For every evil action she must do she justifies by saying she is doing this for her sister. There is also a moment where she and the empress dowager have to kill one of the maids to protect themselves and she feels very guilty that she would kill another woman who also betrayed them to help her own sister and Haluna is killing them to do the same thing. Secondary Conflict The secondary conflict is the budding romance that is happening between Haluna and the Prince - the Khan’s nephew and right hand man. He is just as ruthless and cruel yet she begins to see a different side of him from him saving her on a certain mission and close encounters. There is a lot of attraction happening between them. The other conflict within this is the empress dowager and the Prince also have a secret intimate relationship, therefore he is completely off bounds for Haluna. But this doesn’t stop the growing feelings. THE INCREDIBLE IMPORTANCE OF SETTING The whole book is set in an empire that is based off the mongol empire during its height. However there is magic - originally the shamans could let deities powers into their body to do their bidding. But they made it possible to have bearers- who are born with magic and not need deities to enter them. Then most shamans were rounded up and killed. The story begins with Haluna and her sister in the beautiful steppes in the north surrounded by mountains of the old deities. With a beautiful river, Haluna and her sister race through the grasslands until they discover their herd is decapitated. They try to warn the others however the shadows that are soul sucking kill their entire tribe as Haluna and Buyan escape into the forest. There a golden light saves them. Haluna awakens with Buyan no where to be found and Hanbazar - disgraced prince saves her and they go to his camp in the north. It is surrounded by breathtaking mongolian inspired countryside. There she trains with him and friends. After visiting a big monastery - built on the old lands of shamanic magic. They discover more abut the golden light. Back at the camp they do a ritual to find out Buyan has been taken by the Khan. Haluna leaves to join the competition (based on mongolian nadaam) to select warriors - set near the capital in the steppes. She is selected. Haluna travels to the grand capital city of the empire (based on the medieval city Cambulac - modern day beijing). It is a truly magical city with a palace grounds the size of a city of itself. Much of the story then is set inside the palace - Key scenes include looking at dungeons for her sister witnessing a break out. A lavish banquet scene when Haluna is first introduced to Prince Ariq and gets into an altercation that leads to him ‘training’ her to make a mockery out of her. Haluna and Yuree plan ways to bring down the kheshig elder - the khan’s hound. Haluna joins Ariq to the deity mountains near them - they end up in a magical forest that moves around. Inside they almost get killed by a magical creature and Ariq saves them. Back at the palace things continue to heat up - Oyuna is brought there (one of Hanbazar’s friends). Haluna then eventually gets betrayed in the vault. She is then in the worst part of the dungeons - hitting rock bottom. They take her outside of the city to do a ritual. Her soul travels to the underworld - where she spends a lot of time with the deity Rakusses. Then she travels to the ‘heavens’ and gets her full shaman powers and comes back to the real world. She is reunited with her sister and they escape, however she also wakes up in a different body.