New York Write to Pitch "First Pages"
A forum for New York pitch event alums to post samples of their scenes and prose narrative for detailed critique according to Algonkian Author Connect guidelines. Emphasis on choice of set, narrative cinema, quality of dialogue, metaphor, static and dynamic imagery, interior monologue, general clarity, tone, suspense devices, and routine line editing issues as well.
417 topics in this forum
-
.thumb.jpg.55eff1ef579c86bcb29a3fbdf80f7c2d.jpg)
- 0 replies
- 392 views
This piece is from Chapter 6 and it introduces the inner conflict of the protagonist when presented with the primary conflict of a 3000 mile flying challenge presented by the antagonist. In the aviation business, there are two types of people: those of integrity and complete rascals. Brave souls of high honor stand next to snake oil salesmen, with no population between the two. Flying produces Pulitzer Prize winners, war heroes and drug runners. Pilots are gossips, and I had heard a lot about Harry Forrest: the stint in federal prison, the airport that burned down, the lawsuits, the mechanics who came and went like the change of the seasons.…
Last reply by S Robert Williams, -
- 0 replies
- 507 views
Hello, this is my YA novel, Max and the Spracketts. I worked on two novels for my MA, which i completed this year. Morrigan's Curse/Feathered Heart is one and this is the other. Both are complete--although I am making minor structural edits to both in light of some stuff I've been reading on here-- hahahha CHAPTER ONE Max Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world. (Roald Dahl, Matilda) The snow fell in thick curtains around him, the houses twinkling with warm Christmas lights and the skinny streetlamps glowing with misty orbs. He had no idea it was so late—he’d not missed a train in five years, and he wasn’t missing this o…
Last reply by Emma C. Pasternack, -
- 1 reply
- 588 views
My novel is about a heartbroken, modern-day science teacher who is wooed by a man who claims to be Shakespeare. 1 Joy looks up at the autumn sky and sees a sign: a white “H” within a bright green square, a logo that reminds her of summer vacations. “Who knew we had a Holiday Inn?” she says to Fredrico. “Who cares?” She could change the subject to something more relevant to him—like the spa facilities at the new Ritz Carlton, or his resemblance to a 1970’s George Harrison—but instead of working that hard, she lets the conversation drop. The restaurant is just a few blocks from his West Village apar…
Last reply by Emma C. Pasternack, -
- 0 replies
- 397 views
Opening Scene to introduce the setting, protagonist, tone, and primary conflict. Antwerp, Belgium April 1941 Jacob Eichelberg clutched heavy black-out drapes from his third-floor flat and peered through a sliver onto the lightless city of Antwerp. A dark gray blanket of night, like an inky shroud of nothingness, hovered overhead. He scanned the sky and listened for hunting Allied bombers. Part of him wished to hear the droning buzz of those pregnant planes. Though it would send his family scrambling for the basement, he imagined the laden bellies of those warbirds opening up and letting loose their whistling offspring. Who knows? They might just find…
Last reply by Chad Ellenburg, -
- 0 replies
- 393 views
All day Chae was excited about her eighth birthday, but she couldn’t figure out why her mother wouldn’t look at her. She thought it might have been the rain. The autumn had brought sheets of it to Shanghai, and from the moment she woke, her mother had instructed her to stay inside so she wouldn’t track water onto the floor. It was dark now. For hours, the door to their apartment had remained locked, keeping the quiet in, and keeping the quiet out. Chae played with a doll as she sat across the table from her mother. A ribbon held her inky hair in place, save for a few strands that tickled her forehead, which had started losing its summer bronze. The doll was dirt…
Last reply by Rockwell Sands, -
- 0 replies
- 415 views
Nobody ever shows the bodies. In all the post-apocalyptic films a billion people always manage to magically disappear into thin air, leaving the survivors to walk the earth in isolation. Believe me, that sounds like heaven compared to the present situation. My name is Cody Armstrong. I am nineteen years old and even before what I’ve come to call the Great Extinction, I was all alone. I didn’t start out that way. Until I was eight, I had lots of friends. Then we moved, and I skipped three grades. The school didn’t want to do it since sixth graders don’t really hang out with eight year olds, even smart ones, but I was bored with third grade work and wa…
Last reply by Lora D., -
- 0 replies
- 386 views
These are the opening pages of my historical fiction novel, which centers around a young woman who has a job offer in China on the eve of the pandemic, and is writing about her grandfather's life in the Underground to understand her own decision to move abroad. It introduces one of the main characters and the primary conflict, as well as one of the primary settings (Philadelphia). CHAPTER ONE January 2020 In a city of 25 million people, I was alone. The Pearl Tower pierced the foggy skyline in a monochromatic crimson that hypnotized me into walking away from the piano bar where I’d been headed. I braced myself against the unobstructed wind and crossed the…
Last reply by eursell44, -
- 0 replies
- 450 views
OPENING SCENE - Introduces the setting, tone, antagonistic forces, and highlights key themes. If Solomon absolutely had to jump out of a plane, 0100 hours was not the time he would have chosen for it. Actually, scratch that, never was the time he’d actually pick, but since the Westsylvania Zone militia liked to hand out wall-to-wall counseling like a candy dispenser drone on Halloween, Solomon had little choice in the matter. Taking a deep breath, he climbed out of the cattle truck with the other dozen drafted teenagers, and began to help unload the parachute gear onto the departure airfield. One of the plastic crates resisted his attempts to open it. He managed…
Last reply by JINJUP6RICHARDS, -
- 0 replies
- 411 views
The sample pages include a brief foreword and the opening scene, which introduces the protagonist, primary conflict, tone, and setting. It also foreshadows the pending conflict with the antagonist. Foreword: Ida Pfeiffer should not require any introduction, but sadly, this intrepid explorer’s legacy has been lost. In a time when unaccompanied women did not travel, Frau Pfeiffer became the first woman to circumnavigate the world alone, not once but twice, by 1855. Very few figures in the entire history of mankind can claim to have squeezed more from life than Ida managed in just 15 years. Her travels spanned 170,000 miles during an era where vast frontiers …
Last reply by Ben Henderson, -
- 0 replies
- 393 views
Once again, it’s morning in America. And bells ring out across our vast nation once more. The citizens of our country praised Reagan for a reason. Years earlier, he asked his team to win one for the Gipper. And Notre Dame became epitomized in the record books. They even put Miami in their place in ‘88; resulting in the famed Catholics vs Convicts contest. I know what you’re thinking; how does this relate with me? Or with baseball? Nothing necessarily. You’ll need to forgive me. I sound like a chatterbox most of the time. If there’s anything you can take away from me, know I try to be more of a listener than a talker. Just bear with me and maybe you won’t becom…
Last reply by James Dour, -
Gwen sat on her daughter's twin bed, staring at herself in a mirror they'd attached to the back of the door. It refracted the room's ambient light and gave the illusion of space. It also multiplied the flower decals Sophie had stuck on the walls and the Janice Joplin poster above her bed. Their realtor had called it a one-bedroom, but they all knew that was a lie. It was really a studio with a walk-in closet. But Gwen had been desperate to leave the Victorian townhome she'd shared with Jeremy down in Grammercy Park, and this place was the first thing she found. In hindsight, the signs of infidelity were everywhere--on Jeremy's fragrant coat, in Jeremy's smile--b…
Last reply by jodi daynard, -
- 0 replies
- 547 views
Prologue: Berlin – Paris – Florence Nyima was having a bad day. Her research said that a door should be standing directly in front of her. Instead, there was a solid brick wall, an enormous guard named Rick, and a mean-looking pit bull. "Rick! Good to see you! I thought you were off on the weekends." Nyima said, trying her best to sound calm. "How are Katie and the twins?" "Um, they're good. Who – who are you again?" The guard replied as his hand slowly drifted toward his radio. "Janice King – from corporate – I'm sure Dave told you I'd be poking around." She lied, hoping her research had gotten that right at least. "Janice? Oh, sure. From corporat…
Last reply by Manuka Sourwood, -
- 0 replies
- 641 views
⸸
Last reply by ProductionBlues, -
- 0 replies
- 642 views
Chapter 1 – Camp Pontchartrain Fear nibbled with sharp teeth on the edges of my soul as I scanned Camp Pontchartrain’s dining hall, looking for the bully who would surely notice me. Fortunately for me, the bullies were currently targeting the art students, a group of girls silently weeping with their heads lowered. Thankfully, they left the Techies, technology kids like me, alone . . . for now. I ran my fingers through my brown, curly hair, a self-soothing thing I did when I was nervous, which was a constant state of existence for me. Choosing a corner table, I set my tray down, then checked the seat for the all-too-familiar packets of ketchup or mus…
Last reply by Mark Cheverton, -
- 0 replies
- 386 views
Sorry, posted this chapter twice
Last reply by Mark Cheverton, -
- 0 replies
- 664 views
Opening Pages Panic City by Scott Brooks The first goggles were large, obvious, and people asked questions. A little while later, they tried something that looked like a motorcycle helmet, which also drew attention, but remained a fan favorite of certain players who chose to play on electric scooters or skateboards and who also no doubt enjoyed regular fly-bys past the uncertain law enforcement of New York City. Maybe there were other iterations of goggles, visors, as well as the headphones and gloves; you’re unlikely to meet anyone who will admit to knowing much of anything about a game called Panic City and the people who played it. The next goggle…
Last reply by Scott Brooks, -
- 0 replies
- 593 views
BLOOD OF THE BELLFLOWER: THE TRACE HUNTER (Hild's perspective: Leading male protagonist) CHAPTER ONE Hild still couldn’t comprehend why they were hunting him - a young indentured servant, glorified horse hostler, and fence mender. Nonetheless, his parlous escape from the obscure mining village had flared an uproar with the Segaeta guards. Now, he lay stunned and spread eagle in the hot sand, breathing heavily and blinking against a sticky trickle of blood from his brow bone. Three things tumbled through his mind: First, this new life of running and fighting was unsustainable. Second, Razzia was somewhere – on a horse – being h…
Last reply by Laura Neibaur, -
- 0 replies
- 1.3k views
TWO WORLDS MERGING TO FORM THE ONE Neom City, Saudi Arabia October 2, 2030 He was not armed heavily – that could not be risked with the security drones programmed for firearms or direct-energy caps. The kill would have to be Old World – swift and by the blade. The assassin was dressed for the occasion – in formal white; he’d be a face in the crowd, a presumed participantin the regional wealth ofthe Greatest Show On Earth. Ishmael’s orders were simple:eliminate the great Infidel, MX Leon, enemy to both the people and the state, not to mention to Allah himself. The devil Leon was a creature beyond the sands, possessed of magic and technology …
Last reply by Liora Yoael, -
- 0 replies
- 414 views
Seven Assignments.docx
Last reply by Lynn McCall, -
- 0 replies
- 424 views
LWH Opening.docx
Last reply by Lynn McCall, -
- 0 replies
- 461 views
BENTLEY ROBINSON Brooklyn, New York June 13, 2024 A .45 caliber gun, pressed against his pregnant girlfriend's belly. Fear, rampantly running through his mind. His world, about to crumble in the blink of an eye. Unless he got his shit together - right here, right now. Bentley was panting from the emotional exhaustion. It was hard to fathom a more terrifying sight for a soon-to-be-father. Just getting back from a simple grocery run, he dropped every single bag when he opened the door. "Honey, I'm home..." facetiously echoed the tall, thin man holding the gun against Katalina's stomach, his voice booming with a grin. "At last, he arrives...t…
Last reply by Jake Coble, -
- 0 replies
- 741 views
MARKERS UNKNOWN, Speculative Fiction Thriller Opening Pages—Introduces protagonist, antagonist, setting, tone, and foreshadows the primary crisis and conflict. ONE Present Time. Colorado Springs Police Station. South Interrogation Room. That bastard cuffed me to the table and left the room, but we both know my petty theft isn’t what the FBI is after. In the harsh overhead lighting, I pull hard against the restraints in a continuous succession of aggressive tugs until I draw my own blood. The minute the warm, wet sensation meets the cold air of this unwelcoming environment, I cease all fighting. This is what I was after—not freedom, blood. …
Last reply by O.E. Soderberg, -
- 0 replies
- 1.1k views
Opening Chapter - Introduce protagonists in present timeline and inciting incident 1 Gina October 2015, Colorado Springs, Colorado On the sixth-month anniversary of Mom’s death, I make more crème caramel than Mamie and I can eat. She and I sit side by side in her kitchen, three ramekins filled to the brim on the Formica table. A whiff of vanilla lingers on my fingers from slicing the sticky bean lengthwise and scraping the seeds out to add to the milk and cream, like Mom taught me. Mamie’s white hair is wispy and pinned up in a loose chignon. “I’ll start.” She says, and slips a spoon into the pale, yellow custard. A warm, syrupy odor wafts in…
Last reply by Cynthia Anderson, -
- 0 replies
- 463 views
Writing sample for NYC Pitch Conference 2023 Saying Goodbye to Ideas that No Longer Work.pdf
Last reply by Jackie Grennon Brooks, -
- 0 replies
- 560 views
REBELRY- YA Science Fiction, American Royals meets Divergent Opening chapter - introduces main character, setting, tone, inciting incident CHAPTER 1 Summoned “. . . though we have toiled and emerged from the War victorious, now our labor truly begins. Today we grant our oppressors an amnesty they have not earned. We shall not exact vengeance, but they will learn to follow and serve. With wisdom, mercy, and compassion, we will build a magnificent world and show our oppressors that we can create paradise on Earth. And so, let it be shouted in every street, the Age of Man is no more. For I proclaim to you, the Age of …
Last reply by Sharilyn,
ALGONKIAN SUCCESS STORIES
What should you accept as credible?
Where it All Began
